So, this week I was informed by a friend that they were concerned about my welfare...that they were worried about my insecurity...Normally, this would be a usual thing for a friend to show concern for another friend, but in my case, this friend happens to my ex-boyfriend and his best friend whom I don't talk to much anymore....
But, he asked me if there was anything that he or his best friend could do to help me get over my insecurity and because I don't talk to either of them much, it was strange to me that they would care about someone who they don't talk to at school or would consider as a close friend...
I eventually just told him that I was insecure because I have a fear of change, a change in my attitude in which I have become more pessimistic and I have lost motivation to do a lot of things that I used to love to do and dealing with disappointment in my life as a means to just get him off my back so to speak... Yet, when I think about it, a lot of is quite truthful because I am insecure about a lot of things in my life just as I was when I was younger but I hid it better because I just resorted to isolation.
Which worked pretty well for me because I just immersed myself in music and let the music speak for itself. Unfortunately, since I am older now, that doesn't exactly work anymore because I know that I have to face my fears and insecurities head on instead of running away from them or avoiding them.
So, now I ask myself, what is the root of my insecurity? Is it this "fear of change", "pessimistic attitude", "disappointment" or "lack of motivation" or a combination of all those things that could lead me into a depression if I don't resolve these issues.
If one thing for sure, I know that I am dealing with some underlying, emotional issues that hold a deeper meaning which is why I haven't quite figured out why I could be displaying a innate change in my behavior towards my ex-boyfriend and his friend as well as my other friends...
Question of the day: Can my ex-boyfriend and his friend be sincere about their concern for me or am I just overanalyzing the situation...? And how does one overcome insecurity?
To be the person who they always were to get back to being who they were meant to be...
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
