I did it last night. I had two beers and a glass of wine over the course of five hours and I got in my car and drove home. I am pretty sure that I was under the .08 blood alcohol content limit, but I don't REALLY know. I didn't have a breathalyzer with me. But I think most of my friends would say, "Five hours? You were fine! No problem!" I'm listening to a Midmorning show about drunk driving on Minnesota Public Radio right now and what I am hearing is shocking. I'm now of the mind that it is not ever okay to drive after having any amount of alcohol. Minnesota has the third highest rate of DWI arrests in the U.S. One in six drivers here has a DWI on their driving record. One in six! We also have among the highest rate of alcohol consumption, so obviously, the rate of drunk driving will be higher, but still, what is not computing in our heads up here? Why do we get in the car after a drink at all? The sociologist on MPR right now suspects it has to do with a belief that we can determine the point at which we become impaired. We think it is okay to drink and drive, as long as we don't drink too much. But alcohol removes our ability to make accurate judgments. It increases our confidence and reduces inhibitions. It is impossible to make responsible decisions after a very small amount of alcohol. You might think you are perfectly capable of driving a car, but do you know how low a .08 blood alcohol limit is? The limit is intentionally set BELOW the point of impairment. The point is that alcohol and vehicles should never mix in any amount. For me, everything becomes a good idea after two drinks. I know this, thanks to a scientific experiment my partner and I conducted a couple of years ago. I got my brother a pocket breathalyzer for his birthday, which offended my mother like crazy, but my brother likes gadgets. He thought it was neat. We did too, so we tested it out before we gave it to him. (So, yeah, I gave him a used breathalyzer for his birthday...THAT might be offensive). We drank two vodka tonics each within an hour, testing our breath at every fifteen minutes. We watched the number climb gradually. Within a half hour after finishing the second drink, we were both at .09. Officially drunk! The problem was, we both felt completely fine. If we hadn't had the digital readout in front of us, either one of us might have gotten behind the wheel. Within minutes of achieving .09, the carbon monoxide alarm in my bedroom started going crazy, so we ran out of the house. My roommate and landlord was unconcerned, as it was a newish furnace and so forth. It was late and he planned to have it checked out in the morning. My partner wanted to go to her house for the night, but we were officially too drunk to drive. Perfectly capable of driving, we believed, but clearly above the legal limit. So we sat in the back yard, testing periodically. When we finally hit .07 an hour later, we went to her house. (As it turned out, the carbon monoxide alarm was going off because I dropped it in the driveway after I bought it and it was broken). To review, the results of our experiment showed that two reasonably fit, large frame women who had two drinks were unable to drive for two and a half hours after starting to drink. The experts on the MPR show say that a drink an hour is a fair guideline for when a person hits their limit. They say that for most people, one drink an hour will put you close to the legal limit. Some will stay under the limit, others will go over. It depends on your sex, age, size, body fat percentage, and metabolism. Do you know how all those factors work together in you? No. No one knows that, exactly. So maybe a drink an hour is too risky? And what constitutes "one drink" anyway? One twelve ounce bottled beer has the same amount of alcohol as a four ounce glass of wine. Both of these have the same alcohol content as 1 oz. of hard liquor, like 80 proof vodka or rum. Oh, and that's another thing...wine glasses are not meant to be filled to the rim! Four ounces is a half cup of wine. Not a half glass, as wine glasses vary greatly. Half a cup. Four ounces. And a pint of beer is sixteen ounces, so if you have a pint instead of a bottle, count it as one and a third drinks, not one. That third really makes a difference if you are using the drink-an-hour guideline. A martini counts as two and a half drinks, and at some bars, where they are served in enormous glasses, they can be up to five ounces of alcohol! One martini in an hour will pretty much mess you up for the night. Call a cab! Which brings me to the next factor in drinking and driving. Before going out, plan your alternative transportation. Don't even take your car if you plan to have a drink. In places like Minnesota, alternative transportation can be a problem, as the train only goes two places and quits running well before the bars close. The bus doesn't run out to the 'burbs all night, and it can take an hour to get a cab downtown. A designated driver is the best option in cities with bad transportation. Just make sure your sober cab is trustworthy and not someone who has a couple of drinks and thinks they are fine to drive. As I learned in my experiment, everything seems like a good idea after two drinks. But not really. The responsible thing to do is to avoid all alcohol if you are going to drive.