Mind overrun with thoughts of failure. Heart races. Body shakes. Hands sweat. Chest tightens. Can't breathe. Feel dizzy. Overwhelmed. Where do I start?
This time of the semester is the same every semester. I used to do it during midterms too! I freak out. I have panic attacks whenever I start to work on my finals. It's not like I can flunk. I have an A+ in one class and a B in the other. I haven't been on the honor roll for a while though. I miss the acknowledgment of my hard work.
I reread the finals, and can't even decide which one I want to start first. Again and again and again. I check my grades online. I have 85.5 points out of 80 in one class... The final is worth 20 points. I haven't had an A+ since one of my earlier psych and soc classes. *sigh* Can I get an A in the other class? I have an 86.93%. The final is worth 15%. Wow, that essay is going to be a bitch to pull off.
I have done this daily for the past two weeks. Then I take a xanax (0.25mg, but it works for me) right before the panic attack really hits and I'm curled in a ball somewhat hysterical because my chest hurts and I'm hyperventilating.
It doesn't really matter what my grades are. I do this every time. I think I should start with the xanax first, and maybe I'll actually finish something before the due date.... April 30th. TWO DAYS?! Oh... ouch.... where's the xanax?!
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
