Mom always told me that fat was one of the last forms of accepted discrimination, I guess I never really saw what she meant until today. I was there in class, and these guys were sitting there judging the work my partner and I were doing. I thought they were okay dudes, city type so obviously we aren't going to see eye-to-eye on a lot of things but that's the way the world works.
So, I finally got up there to show off my work or whatever you wanna call it and I got this sense...you know that feeling when you walk into a room and you just KNOW you're not wanted there. Because, obviously you're stepping on some kind of private VIP party that you're not welcome at....yeah, I got that feeling. I'm standing there thinking yeah whatever it's nerves...though I don't get nervous this MUST be what it feels like. So, my partner and I start doing our thing in class and all the sudden as I was standing there talking it was like I knew I wasn't going to get far with these dudes. They were talking back to me, not paying attention, showing emotion, saying rude things...just really not making a lady feel right. I think the worst part was when they really tried to make me feel like an idiot when I just started talking and forgot to wait for them to say it was okay (because our talking times were limited so they had to time it), so I stop and say sorry then ask if it was okay to go. I KNOW the dude said "no" so I wait...what else am I supposed to do?!?! Anyhow, then the dude looks up at me and says to me like I'm a 5 year old, "are you gonna go?" There I am looking at him like some kind of freak, saying well I thought you said "no don't go"....insert me heckling back and forth with them. It was HORRIBLE!
I guess the thing that gets me the most is I've seen these guys judge before, and I've heard them talk to their friends. They're the kind of guys that give men a bad name, and I can't help feeling if I was maybe ohhh I don't know 5'2-ish and 120 lbs that they'd love me and treat me like I wasn't the most horrible person in the world!
I don't know maybe I'm making something out of nothing, but really if I could have just taken a picture of the looks on these guy's faces. It truely would have said it all for me. It would have been even better if I could have taken a picture of the room....that would have summed up my day in class.
I think that story right there is the prime reason why we have so many fat people and annorexic people in the world, and why very few women actually feel beautiful! It's people like that who make you feel bad, out right because for whatever reason they've decided that I'm only pretty if I'm skinny and 5'2 or whatever. I can see why people have eating disorders...hell I think over eating is an eating disorder too. Yet it just seems like those with the eating disorders where they don't eat or throw up what they eat are more favored than the ones where they over eat!
I know by now I'm just rambling, but yall have to understand that this is almost 22 years of pent up agression about the world I live in coming out...so I'm bound to be all over the place and mad. I just think more people need to quit focusing on how "hott" that chick or dude is and focus more on how awesome of a person they are! My word, people all too often don't talk to me because oh my gosh I'm fat and I must not take a bath and I must not be clean! FYI...I get told all the time I smell good (haha if they only knew I was wearing that Hannah Montana perfume!!) and yes I shower daily! I don't know where people get these ideas from, but I'd really love for them to stop. So I hope by putting this out on the net maybe someone will get it through their head, and it's my small way of quitting bitching and starting a revolution.
So for all the people who haven't heard it today...YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! I don't think people say that enough! Along those lines I don't think people hear it enough!
PS...if you're one of the people who've already gotten it through their heads....THANK YOU!
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