What do you think you're doing when you get a new partner (boyfriend/girlfriend)? Is it that you're totally in love with them, or that you want to forget the person you were last with? Is it that you feel "complete" or protected or as if that something that once was missing has been found?
I've been observing the behaviors of people my age (you know? the teens?). Well i recently made a very interesting observation that perhaps all of us are aware of in some lever but have not looked into yet.
Yesterday one of my old "friends" was talking to me about his current relationship and how he felt like he'd made "the wrong choice." Of course i could sense what was going on since this guy had confessed to me his romantic feelings towards me. I didn't do much at the time since my plan is to stay away from relationships in high school. He tried for a few weeks and the next thing i knew was that he had a girlfriend, someone who also happens to be my friend. I, of course, was relieved that he didn't like me anymore and finally had gotten over me... but one day a friend of his and mine asked me if i liked him, when i told him i only liked him as a friend he told me about the guy's plan to secretly go out with his current girlfriend and me at the same time. I was completely disappointed and promised i wouldn't trust him anymore, i said i didn't want to be his friend anymore. I didn't say this because of myself, but for her. She doesn't deserve to be cheated that way, and he shouldn't be doing those types of things to innocent unsuspecting girls. Anyway, at school he talked to me after she left and asked if i was mad at him. I told the truth: that i wasn't mad, but i was really disappointed and didn't trust him the way i once did. We engaged in a very awkward and vague (from his part) conversation about our current love lives. He told me he wanted to break up with her but didnt' know what to do, i told him to be honest and do what he felt was right.
When i got home i called him and told him to be very careful because i didn't want her to think i had anything to do with their breakup, then we began to talk again and i finally figured out what is wrong with people from our age group:
we don't look for partners because we love them as romantic partners, we look for them because we're looking to satisfy the emptiness inside us. He said something about being used to feeling like his partner's older brother, and i know my father (who divorced my mom for some other lady) -although he says he loves her- feels like a child with his new wife.
In every person there is a holowness to be filled. It's an empty space that we haven't filled yet, something that may be filled with love for ourselves or from a parent or a romantic partner.
In these present times children don't have very good relationships with their parents and have feelings of need. Need to be loved, need to be needed, need to feel important to someone else. When they don't recieve this from a parent, they go out and subconsciously search for it in others. This is the reason for premature relationships and all the other things that teenagers do nowadays to feel more complete or "independent," but the truth is that they're not (we're not)... we all are missing something and must fight to find it, regardless of how awkward the road towards getting it may be.
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