Are we conditioned to be superficial? What is more jolting, the honest answer, or the penetrating question?
I have found that I enjoy answering questions, in a brutally honest and generally terrifying way. I have also noticed that it sometimes scares people more than the ambiguous unknown.
But I have more questions to ask than to answer. I've grown more comfortable with asking what I'm wondering without being attached to the chance that someone might scoff at my curiosity. I'm not necessarily looking for THE answer, but THEIR answer. Not everyone is willing to tackle that with an upfront response. People are frozen by those penetrating questions...especially those that start with "Why."
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I saw someone today that once represented everything I thought I didn't have.
Back when that first hit me, it was like being punched in the stomach. All of the wind was knocked out of me. It was a stirring, an awakening of something that had been momentarily numbed.
It gave me motion and got me to thinking, what was this stirring? Why was it so unsettling?
I had a few months of departure from it, and I was able to come back with some clarity. What I thought I didn't have was something I had forgotten I needed.
Then, after wrestling with that until I was worn and exhausted, I finally let it go, so entirely that when I met the catalyst again, the feeling had lifted and I could breathe again.
I realized that it had been inside ME the entire time, everything that I had forgotten I needed and had all the while been looking for.
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