The Rainbow Families annual conference was this weekend. It is a convocation of resources for GLBT families all over the Upper Midwest. There are workshops about legal protection of partners and children, artificial insemination, transgender parenting issues, saving for college, and adoption, just to name a few. I've gone to the prospective parent workshops before, so this year, I decided to do the educator track. What I learned about the school conditions of GLBT youth was upsetting. It hasn't gotten much better in the ridiculously huge number of years since I graduated from high school.
The first session I attended was about transgender issues from preschool through high school. I chose this workshop because of my experiences with The Princess (those who don't know what I'm talking about should read Transgender 5-Year-Old: What's a Feminist Nanny to Do?). Two parents on the panel had children with stories very similar to The Princess' situtation. One parent's child is now 21 and fully transitioned. The other parent has a six-year-old who has legally changed his name to a boy's name and is identified in school as a boy. The school has even made a gender neutral bathroom available to him. When his mom talked about his future, she started sobbing, because she KNOWS he will be beaten and tormented when he gets older.
There was one panelist who told the tale that mom feared and that I worry The Princess will have to face someday. This young man graduated from high school last year. He transitioned in the middle of tenth grade. He was tormented for four years with no help, no protection from the school. He was beaten regularly by classmates and was sexually assaulted more than once. The principal's response? "Well, you weren't technically raped, so what am I supposed to do about it?" The school has video of some of the incidents, but they deny seeing anything "unprovoked." His very existence, according to school officials, warranted beating and sexual assault. His family won't back him, because they are angry that he has "embarrassed" them so.
This poor kid would try not to pee all day, and when he couldn't make it, he skipped class to drive home and go to the bathroom somewhere safe. He couldn't use the women's restroom without some girl's boyfriend beating him up, and going into the men's bathroom was the equivalent of a deathwish.
Stories like this explain some of the research on GLBT youth (although most if the research is actual on G, L, or B youth...transgender youth remain invisible). According to a 2005 study by GLSEN, "37.8% of students experienced physical harassment on the basis of sexual orientation." More than 25% were harassed on the basis of gender expression. Almost 20% were physically assaulted. 92% report hearing peers make derogatory remarks about GLBT people, and 39% report that no one ever intervenes. What is more disturbing is that 37% of GLBT students report hearing STAFF make derogatory comments!
In this climate, it is no wonder that GLBT students skip school more often than their heterosexual classmates. It is no wonder they suffer higher rates of depression and suicide. Who could endure that kind of abuse without some negative effects on the psyche?
But here in Minnesota, I thought smugly, the situation MUST be better. We're a blue state! We have one of the largest GLBT populations in the nation! The stories I heard from other teachers shot that theory down. Despite the fact that the Minnesota Human Rights Act forbids discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace and in educational settings, very few schools have an anti-discrimination policy that matches. In the majority of school districts in Minnesota, GLBT students remain unprotected, and the climate is utterly hostile.
Students who bring incidents of discrimination to the attention of administrators are often treated as if they were the cause of the problem...as if they deserve the bullying they endure. Teachers who advocate on behalf of these students are often harassed themselves. (NOTE: As stated before, trans students remain invisible. There are NO school districts that protect gender identity. Even the Minnesota Human Rights Act omits gender identity).
And still, people protest anti-bullying curriculum that mentions GLBT people. They say it is obscene and that they have the right to teach their children about sex when and as they see fit. If these people could see past their own ignorance and fear long enough to identify with the pain these students and families feel...if they could see the damage in that young trans boy's eyes as he talked about being held down and felt up and beaten in his school...maybe they would understand that it is not about sex at all. And it is NOT obscene. In fact, what could be more decent than letting your children learn to respect the life and well being of their classmates? Is it a waste of time to teach your kid that raping a classmate is wrong?
It starts with little things like name calling in elementary school, and it escalates. THAT is why we have to teach it in elementary school. We have to stop it before it becomes something much worse. I have to do all I can to stop it before The Princess gets to high school. I won't have him hurt.
To learn more about GLBT students, visit:
GLSEN http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/home/index.html
The Safe Schools Coalition http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/safe.html
Groundspark,org (has amazing videos on all kinds of discrimination).
http://www.groundspark.org/
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