Today when I was working at the library, I came across a book called, 'Die Happy: 499 Things Every Guy's Gotta Do While He Still Can' by Tim Burke and Michael Burke.
It's the grossest book ever. Every chapter has a check list of things to do before guys tie the knot. An underlining theme throughout the book is, guys have no life after marriage.
This gets graphic so beware! Here are some of the things it recommends:
Snort Tequila, wear a diaper (and only a diaper) to the beach, try to pick up chicks at a lesbian bar, go out with no place to crash--find a girl to take you home at all costs, share a hot tub with women who are topless, bottomless or both, one word: threesome, get a stripper's phone number...for real, make sweet love to a woman ten years older than you a.k.a. "bang a cougar", have sex with a woman who thinks your name is Thor, enjoy two women within a twenty-four hour time period, drink a redheaded slut and then go home with one, drink something on fire....
After reading some of the book to the other librarians, they were like "You are so naive to think that ALL guys aren't like this".
Yet, I've dated guys who weren't interested in checking out hot women (at least, they were polite enough not to check them out when I was with them). And I've also dated guys who would rather read poetry and discuss philosophy than "read" a playboy magazine and discuss the wet t-shirt contest they recently went to.
However, my colleagues were convinced that the guys I dated were just putting on an act to impress me or they were gay and didn't know it. Although it's rare, I know there are some guys who aren't just looking to lie to women and then screw them.
Another part of the book also caught my interest. The book lists all of the things guys will do after marriage:
Get in trouble for coming home thirty minutes later than you said you would, wake up early to get a head start on chores, errands, and other household duties, vacation in Disney World, spend Friday night shopping at Target, kill a Saturday at the petting zoo, drive a minivan because you find it "very practical", feel wrong about yelling "show me your tits", frequent Chucky Cheese, consider a Blockbuster Night a 'fun' evening, not recall the last time you got shitfaced with your buddies...
Basically, guys have this window of "opportunity" to be a playboy, promiscuous jerk-off before they become a wife-whipped, bored-to-death husband. So the point of the book is for guys to be as much of a jerk as possible before committing themselves to the monastery (otherwise known as marriage).
Many guys say, "Guys are simple" or "All men are like that". In my mind, these people who make excuses for this kind of behavior are the types who would do shitty things like this. The guys who wouldn't are the ones saying, "Not all guys are like that" (and they also mean it).
The trick is to separate the losers (aka jerks) from the guys who are sophisticated.
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