Recently the Catholic Church in Rome has added seven new sins to the list after fifteen hundred years of making due with the original and very reasonable standbys. The original offences and their punishments are as follows:
Pride Broken on the wheel
Envy Put in freezing water
Gluttony Forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes
Lust Smothered in fire and brimstone
Anger Dismembered alive
Greed Put in cauldrons of boiling oil
Sloth Thrown in snake pits
I have a difficult time accepting these new sins as legitimate and don’t see how they can be taken seriously. For starters the Church has obviously been very lax in recent years in their follow through with the original seven sins. When was the last time that the church has forced anyone to eat rats, toads, and snakes? You can’t possibly expect me to believe that there is any shortage of gluttons. As for being thrown in a snake pit where would one even find a good snake pit these days? What would P.E.T.A. say? I think that if you can’t enforce the existing laws it is unreasonable to go ahead and create new ones. Instead I think that the Church and the Pope could better spend their time creating a global police force and judicial system in order to better enforce the existing laws. If I knew that there were people looking to throw me in a snake pit or make me eat rats and toads it would be the incentive I need to keep up on my lawn and lose those pesky holiday pounds that seem to be hanging around.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
