On being ordinary: There must be something inherently beautiful about being ordinary. So what am I, and what do I want to be? If I go beyond ordinary, I will lose the ability to relate to those who are ordinary. It is like the price we pay for education, and that thing that happens to us when we go from uneducated to educated. But if I remain ordinary, what will I have accomplished? Beauty only? I can't quite imagine an in between. One must be rejected. One cannot serve two masters. So what am I to do? Am I already one or the other? Or do I have to decide and strive for one or the other? Those who achieve always claim ordinary-ness, but they are clearly not, so say the ordinary, who know the difference. On being extraordinary: Once you go beyond ordinary and reach extraordinary, do you know it? Are you aware? And if you do become extraordinary, and you do know it, is there any possible way to still understand what it was like to be ordinary, and then still able to relate to those ordinary people in addition to the extraordinary people? And anyway, how does one know when s/he becomes extraordinary? Is there an event? A line that's crossed? What changes? What does that line look like? On existence :: life: What is the purpose of existence, and of life? Of love and of suffering? To prove the truth of binary oppositions? If there is a purpose to life in general, there must be a purpose for my life also. But if there is no such thing as destiny, then my purpose is not even known to God, if I intend to continue to believe in Open Theology - the future being unknowable, even to God - and purpose can only be seen in hindsight. I must, then evaluate what my purpose has been and what I want my purpose to be now and in the future. Is this narcissistic? No, I do not believe so. There must be a proper time for self evaluation to be a healthy contributor to society. And if I decide, or am a deciding factor in my purpose for now and to com, it is only selfish if I focus that purpose on myself and making gains for me. So I have to decide now: my purpose: to better the life of all the life on the planet. So what is the purpose of the rest of life? Will I find out when I die? or when the end of the world comes? Is the purpose only to just be? to exist? to live? There must be more, because there is a stark difference between existing and living, just as there is a difference between ordinary and extraordinary. And if the only purpose in life is to be companions to God, then I find that wholly insufficient. There must be a point where we are meant to be companions to one another. I think God must also agree that even the all powerful deity is not enough to sustain life; enough to sustain existence, yes, but life, no. We need each other. Each other needs me. This may be the hot chocolate talking.