Note: I’m writing in the voice of J.D. Salinger, who most notably authored The Catcher in the Rye. He wrote with a train of thought style. The subject matter and stories often stray through connections as if the narrator were thinking.
Girls
So sometimes I just don’t get girls. I mean I like girls, I really do. Some of my best friends are girls. But how hard is it to just say what you mean? It kills me. I mean it’s like they have certain rules they have to follow or something. No, you can’t just tell a guy how you feel, or be open with your feelings; you have to play little games and make a guy work to have something. It kills me, it really does, because I’m one of those kinds of guys that’s real impatient-like. I don’t like to wait. I’m kind of forward with my feelings, because I mean I might die tomorrow, so I feel like I got to get it out there, or I might burst or something. Like this one time, one of my friends, old Chelsea, she tells me she’s not really that popular or anything at school. Well I figured she was a pretty good looking girl, so she must be a least a little popular because she’s a fine looking girl. She really is. She’s one of those girls that when you look at them, you don’t even want to talk to them because you know they’re just going to tell you no without even asking your name or something. It kills me. Well I go to tell her my theory, and how do I do it? I just blurt out, all tongue-tied like, “You’re pretty.” So then it took me another five minutes to explain what I meant, because I guess apparently you can’t just tell a girl they look nice or anything like that, you need to have a reason. My reason? Maybe I’m just a nice guy. That’s not really it, I just like to be real open-like with my feelings. I mean, like I said, I could die tomorrow. And another thing girls, even if you do think a guy is nice or something, don’t tell him that a whole lot unless you like him. I mean I can’t even count how many times girls have said, “Oh the girl you get will be so lucky”, or “You’re such a nice person.” I mean that’s nice and all, but it really kills me because I don’t have a whole lot to show for it, if you know what I mean. I mean sure I might mean a lot to that person, and that’s great and all, it really is, I appreciate my friends, but sometimes I’d rather feel like a nice guy than be told that. So I guess I’m kind of like a girl that way, you just can’t tell me I’m a nice guy without me wanting to hear it, or me liking your reason or something. But, I get really sick of girls that play games with me, just for fun. I mean I’m not some hamster or something they can just put in one of those little balls and laugh as it rolls around. Girls think I’m supposed to be as smart as one of those hamster things because I’m a guy or something, but I like to think I’m smarter than that. I mean, I know what I want, and I know what I don’t want. You know what I don’t want? Having to work at getting a girl to be open and not play games when all she has to do is just say how she feels. It kills me. I mean, I hope girls don’t really think of guys like that, because I don’t want to be that hamster in the ball. I really don’t.
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