Right now, I am in the throes of deciding whether or not I'm ready to be saved. For some, it may not be a diffcult decision, but I want to make sure I do it right - the first time.
I'm in the teen class at my church, which on average has about five or six people in it. It used to have about ten. I am literally the only person that still shows up, out of the "old people"- the ones that have been there for years. It used to be me, two Erics, June, and Michael. Then, we lost Michael because he hardly ever comes anyway, June has a job, Eric has a job too (but stopped coming long before it), and the other Eric is in college.
Then, we gained a new family (who I'm sorry to say is probably the cause of some non-attendance) with two girls and a boy. There is also another girl besides me who shows up most of the time.
It makes me so sad because many of the ones that don't come anymore are people I wish I could see. My church is in a different town than where I go to school, so I never see anyone if they don't come to church. We used to all be a close-knit group that got along and joked, and enjoyed coming to church. It's not so fun anymore. I know church isn't necessarily supposed to be fun, but it should be something that you don't dread. Every time I go, I usually feel as though I am being attacked for my personal beliefs on politics, some morals, and even my choice of dress or music. (By the newest family with the two girls and the boy.) I recently said in class that I am not voting for McCain because I don't agree with a Liberal trying to be a Conservative, and that I in all likelihood would be voting for Obama because I like a lot of his policies. A rain of disapproval fell on my head because he does not support a lot of overly Christian values. Excuse me for having an opinion.
The saddest thing is that I'm not seeing a lot of reason to become a true member of the church by getting saved, if the attitudes of some is what I have to adhere to. Most of the people now not showing up were baptized into the church when they were young, about 12, and look at them now! They weren't ready then, and I feel as though I'm not ready now. But I feel pressure sometimes because I once was in a class by myself and my teacher asked why I wasn't baptized yet. I didn't really know what to tell him except that I didn't feel I was ready for a committment that I think is too important to just take lightly. I also feel that there are some things I do that I know I shouldn't, but I don't feel sorry about doing, you know? Like cursing. I know the Bible speaks against it, and I know it's wrong, but I still do it and I'm not ready to give it up.
As far as politics go, I'm very Liberal in my church. The Barack Obama issue is one; homosexuality is another. Just like my church, I think it's wrong, but I'nm not all for jumping down someone's throat for it. And it is not a deciding factor in who I will vote for. I want to be respected for my choices and not be ostracized by a family - or families - that have grown up sheltered and brainwashed.
Salvation at 17? I might not be ready at 27. But it's my choice and I'll make it when I feel ready.
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