I am going to be 18 in a couple of months and I am still a virgin. Most of my friends have not had sex. The ones who did it have had problems with every relationship whenever sex is involved. The ones who have not have had better luck with their relationships. One of my closes friends had sex when she was a freshman in high school and has had sex with most of her boyfriends since then. lets just say she has a lot of issues.
I am not waiting for religious purposes since I am an Athiest. I am not even sure if I am going to wait until I am married. Though sometimes I feel like thats the best answer. Every person I have known who has had sex has had their relationships fail and I think having sex has something to do with it. It just makes things so complicated. But at the same time how am I supposed to know being a virgin and all. It is just so frustraiting.
It seems like less and less people are waiting until they are married to have sex because it seems almost pointless, but at the same time is it pointless to wait?
Pros to waiting
- I will not get pregnaut
- I will not get an STD
- I wont have complications that go along with having sex
- Will not be called a slut
- More respected..sometimes (some dont care)
Cons to waiting
- Will not be experienced
- I cant think of any more im sure there are more
I am just not sure if I even want to have sex before im married but I am not fully opposed to the idea I mean if I am with someone for a long time it might happen. I just wish I knew if it is worth it. I dont want to have sex with just anyone and I dont want to end up like a lot of my friends who have been screwed over in relationships after they had sex.
sorry if this is a confusing blog it feels like my brain
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This is definitely a strange place to talk about personal things that I won't even talk about in front of my friends, but nevertheless I'll be honest with you.
I have had sex with my girlfriend, and her and I lost our virginity together. However, we had been going out for roughly over a year and a half before we finally did, and had known each other for about 4 years before we did. So, we were and are very close.
I believe that the issue should not be about sex. Sex is an act between two people to reproduce, but to think of it in more of a romanticist way: they do it when they love each other. My girlfriend and I slowly moved into having sex, but it was never a big issue for us... it just seemed natural to take our love to the next level in more of a physical way.
Whenever I think about the romanticist purposes of sex I think about an episode of "Quantum Leap" which was a really goofy sci-fi show from the late 80's... anyway, this kid gets tricked and the main character (who is in the body of the kid's mother) tells him that sex is what two people do when they love each other. Simple as that.
So, maybe you'll wait until marriage, and maybe you won't, but I believe you should wait until you know you love someone before you go out and possibly make a mistake. Plus, even if you're not a couple after a few years with the person that you loved at the time and lost your virginity to, at least it makes it a much more meaningful experience.
So, I guess in my history, I am the opposite of your friends who have had sex because I waited until I knew it was right with the person I loved.
Elliott
I think marriage is something that should wait at least until someone is in their late twenties, if not later, because people change and mature so much up until that time. Personally, that seems like a mighty long time for abstinence. Like MM said, just be in a secure relationship. Well, actually, only be in a secure relationship if that's what you want. I think that if both parties want sex without a relationship, there's nothing wrong with that.
I think it's a personal thing. Some people can handle sex earlier than others. I'm glad you've realized that you are not ready yet. Generally, if you're not sure, then you're not ready. I also like the fact that you use logic to determine which choices you should make in life instead of religion.
Cheers
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I'm 17, and I lost my virginity to my boyfriend five and a half months into our relationship, and he his to me. We were friends for two years before that (and basically best friends from the beginning), and had been through quite a lot in the short amount of time we'd known each other.
On the same page, I was in a relationship with a guy for 16 months, and refused to sleep with him, because he pushed too much. He ultimately broke up with me because of it. Do I think that affected my decision to have sex so early in the relationship? Yes, a little. I know that I probably would have waited longer. Do I regret my choice? No. He's one of my best friends, and has been since I've known him. I felt comfortable. That's all that matters to me.
(Minus the whole no pregnancy/STD thing, of course.)
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