Let me start out by saying I AM NOT GAY.
However, let me continue by saying I AM NOT STRAIGHT.
To be honest, I don't understand the angst in coming to terms with your sexuality, whatever it may happen to be. Personally, I've always believed people had different preferences, and mine were not quite one way or the other. (For the record, I have a preference for males and am a female, but my preference is not particularly strong.) I never understood why people were scared of themselves and scared of how others would react. My family is not a particularly religious family. Neither of my parents attend church or temple regularly, though they do consider themselves Buddhists. However, most importantly, my dad does NOT support full rights for gays--to me, full rights means completely equal rights, even to marriage. Despite all this, as I grew up, I did not ever once worry about my sexuality. I had a cousin who asked me if I ever thought I could be bisexual, and I simply answered yes. Naturally, she questioned me on whether or not it bothered me and all sorts of other things. I thought it was rather funny because this was the extent of my thought process on sexuality: "hmm. I prefer guys. But I wouldn't exclude girls. I guess that makes me bisexual. Except not really. After all, I do have a preference. Oh well. Hey, look! There's something shiny over there!"
There was actually a boy at my school that thought I hated him because he was gay. I didn't hate him and I didn't know he was gay. When people ask me in their you-are-so-weird tone of voice why I "love the gays" (particularly gay guys) so much, I answer flippantly with "Because they make such awesome clothes." I mean that and I don't. I do believe that homosexuals, as well as heterosexuals, give something to society. Obviously I realize not all gay guys are designers and not all designers are gay guys, but seriously, the stereotype isn't all that false. In all truthfulness, I think my answer should be I like them because so many people don't. I like them because they're people and because they deserve to be liked. I like the ones that are so flamboyant and funny and make me laugh and I love their culture and I love their icons. I watch Kathy Griffin and laugh and I absolutely adore Christian from Project Runway. But most of all, I empathize with the people who are so worried about what their parents might think. No matter who we are, I think there are expectations that our parents and society level on us from birth. In my case, I was the Asian who was expected to study lots and be completely pure. Also, my parents expected me to be straight. Do they know my preferences? I haven't gone out of my way to hide them, but I haven't explicitly stated them either. I sit in front of the TV and shout out things like oh my god I LOVE HER when I see Alessandra Ambrosio strut down the runway and my mom certainly knows about my unbridled passion for Angelina Jolie (and at one time Brad Pitt). Both my parents know how passionately I support gay rights and my mother agrees with me--though i should point out that she absolutely does NOT like seeing men kiss on TV. I don't particularly like it myself even though it does send me into fits of giggles watching my mom's expressions as she's watching a kiss between her beloved Elliot Stabler and whoever the hell the actor is that's kissing Christopher Meloni on Oz. On the whole, I'm pretty much neutral about it all though I do maintain that if you're going to show a gay relationship of TV, please treat as you would a straight relationship. Make it at least somewhat realistic! After all, I doubt gay couples awkwardly hug on Valentine's Day.
I think everyone has a cause they care deeply about. This is mine, though I don't really know why. I think it's because I absolutely loved the fact that I could define my acknowledge and accept my sexuality in a matter of minutes. I want every person to have that. I like knowing that any person I am attracted to, I will pursue (well ideally, in practice I'd probably blush and stumble a lot). I like the lack of angst and I like the lack of confusion. My wish for society is for every person to be able to do the same. i want everyone to be able to look at themselves, acknowledge who they are, embrace and move on with their lives! My sexuality doesn't define me anymore than the fact I'm Asian or the fact that I hate physics. I want everyone to sit down at the dinner table and say "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my (gay) girl/boyfriend" and for the parents to reply "Bring him/her over for dinner tomorrow dear, and please pass the butter." It may seem strange, but that's what I imagine will be life for my kids. In fact, it almost makes me wish I could have a gay kid though I would hate for him/her to be turned into a cause. Someday, kids won't have to worry about their parents reaction to revelations about sexuality I hope. Someday, instead of nervously biting their nails, kids will just pass the butter and say "Can we please not have meatloaf tomorrow?"
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
