I am going on a journey. As vague as that may sound, yes, it is an actual journey.
A journey for travel, for leisure, for freedom, but especially for love.
I am in love with a man 5,000 miles away, distance between San Antonio, Texas and Borna, Germany.
I can never express my deepest love for this man, Eric. Everytime I attempt to write about him, I just can't seem to clutch the thoughts in my mind. For me being a Virgo, this love is simply a crazy unorganized mess of pleasure.
After knowing Eric for almost 5 months (it feels like such a long time, but 5 months sounds like nothing...), we have been wonderful penpals. Though, I never noticed how much we truly have in common, or how much we actually... connect. We've liked different music, different living styles, different movies, different games, etc. But something which brings us together, I can't explain it. We have simply bonded, bonded as if we evolved into liking more of each other's stuff. But as we grow into each others stuff, we turn away somewhat from what we used to like. It's such a weird experience, I can't even explain it correctly.
While I am eating an early dinner, he is heading off to bed. When he wakes up to go to school, I am getting ready to go to bed. When I wake up, he is home from school. 7 hours.
He's 7 hours ahead of my time zone. Sometimes, I hate the number 7. Sometimes, it's my favorite number.
I used to not think much of him. But... that was really a lie. He consumed my mind all this time. He looked so unique from the first moment I saw him. I couldn't explain just this feeling I had for someone I never talked to. I just knew, he was going to influence my life somehow. Was it, maybe... love at first sight? In reality, he had a bunch of pictures of him partying, drinking beer, etc. I would have never went for ANYONE who was into this. But there was something about him, I couldn't refuse. Something deeper than who he was now. The person who he would become.
An Internet romance. It angers me, but yet I love it.
I know and feel that we should be together.
Sleeping, morally depressed, I awoke. I think I was crying. I had a huge uprush. A huge strength to declare my love for him. In my dreams, I woke up, and ran into his arms. I want to see him. I can't wait for him to come here, I need to see him as soon as possible. It needs to become of something.
So this is my plan. My journey. Regardless of anything, I'm going to be heading to Germany for a month during the summer. For love. For him. For us. I have so much faith in this, I can't explain my feelings.
And this is where my journey begins.
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