Control -
found in the form of words.
hurt. cut. broken.
are you my parents - you just love me?
or are you the ones who hurt me.
dear bloggers. i am very confused. ive read so much about emotionall abuse after i was diagnosed with depression. i would have to say ive been in alot of bad places mentally. my parents are very harsh and demanding...they threaten me in all different types of ways and they truly control every aspect of my life. to the point where i have to be watched when im on the computer. i havent done anything wrong - i am a good student perfect grades- a flawless record - involved in countless activities - and my room is always clean. i dont drink - i dont do drugs- and im a leader in all aspects. ive already been excepted into college and luckly now i feel i have a way out (other than before when i only thought of suicide) my mother uses harsh words, calls me names, locks me in my room and has taken away all the phones in our house. she justifys her actions by telling me that she loves me and its for my own good - she doesnt let my friends hang out with me much anymore and she has even hit me before when i stood up to her. she says that im a brat and when i dont get my way she has to punish me. i am a senior in high school and she treats me like im five. i still cant watch tv shows with out her okaying them first. she takes away my cell phone everyday and looks through my call log. she even called my school to cancel my internet account there. i dont know what to do. enough is enough but HOW DO I KNOW WHEN ITS ENOUGH>? i know all kids my age have problems with parents who want to control them....thats what i keep telling myself - but things are gettting - well - dangerous for me emotionally. ive started doing things to myself to feel some form of control. things i know i shouldnt do. am i over reacting? do i need to "snap out of it" am i seriously "a selfish little bitch" who needs to "be put in her place before she fucks up big time"? i need some advice.
im hurting
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