As I sit here sipping a Coca-Cola and rereading over a dialog
between myself and another unknown, unidentified member of cyberspace,
I can't help but shake my head at the ludicrousness with which today's
youth see the precious God-given gift of sex. I, myself have had my own
struggles with it in my past, like those concerning a computer and
online search engine. However, as my mind has been renewed by the Grace
and Love of God I now see things from his perspective and
unfortunately, that isn't the perspective of most of today's youth.
Browsing through Facebook.com, the world's second largest "personals" website, second only to the infamous MySpace.com
(of which I have both), I had the urge to read through SocialMoth. For
those without Facebook let me explain. SocialMoth is an application on
Facebook that allows people to post notes, secrets, rants, and
randomness completely anonymously. I had become a member because it is
always interesting to read what people will bring into the light as
long as their name can be kept in the dark.
Already knowing that
this was not a Christian site, I was expecting that there would be many
things said that would be disturbing to read about and I was not
disappointed. However, as I read over the secrets recently posted, of
which scroll by so fast that if you miss one once, you will never find
it again, my eyes caught on one particular statement made by a young
lady:
"dont 'do it'
with just a person. just wait until there is a person who treats you
great!! try not to mess it up when you find him!!"
Something
about that simple statement made my heart clench up, for in that one
statement I saw the true depravity of my generation, my people. As
quick as I could I typed a response that I felt was "adequate" enough
to get their attention and start them thinking.
"How
about not doing it at all until you've made the commitment to stay with
him forever. The kind of commitment that requires a ring."
I really didn't have to wait long before a response came, bringing with it an even greater sense of alarm, for they said:
"I
dont think waiting until you get a ring makes it anymore special than
waiting for someone who really loves you....a ring is just a ring and
love is love with or without it. I wish people would get over this wait
for marriage thing...if its your choice than fine but Im sick of those
"waiting" people trying to make other people feel bad about their
choices...sex is sex...and its different to everyone stop trying to put
your opinions on everyone else."
Apparently enough
to our culture today, love=sex and sex=love. They see no need to make
any commitment past saying the words "I love you..." which all to often
end with "...so sleep with me." They see nothing wrong with 'running
the bases' as it were. To them it has no consequences, no
repercussions, no side effects. You just 'lust'...oops...I mean
'love'...somebody enough until you make the decision to have sex with
them. Thats it.
I felt that I needed to enlighten them a bit,
whether it be simply out of my own flesh, or out of a move of the
Spirit of God I do not know, but my reply was a bit lengthier than
before.
" If
sex is just sex then why are there so many broken families, divorces,
rapes, sodomies, molestations, incests and 'date rapes'.If sex was just sex then why do we have so many names for it.
You can't possibly tell me that you can look a girl in the eyes and tell her that she wasn't raped, she just had sex.
You
can't tell me that you can look at that little boy that was taken
advantage of and tell him that he wasn't molested, he just had sex.You
can't tell me that you can look that little girl in the face and tell
her that she wasn't sexually molested by her father, she just had sex.You can't tell me that.
And if sex is just sex answer me this:
How
come 95% of couples who wait to have sex until marriage never
experience a divorce while those who believe like you that "sex is sex"
have a 75% chance of divorce?Seems to me that sex ISN'T just sex..."
I mean really, think about it, because the facts are far too ghastly to ignore.
-
In 2004-2005, there was an average annual 200,780 victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. (1)
-
An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today. (2)
-
More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8. (2)
-
Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12. (2)
-
The average child molester will molest fifty girls before being caught and convicted. (3)
-
A
child molester that seeks out boys will molest 150 boys before being
caught and convicted and he will commit at least 280 sexual crimes in
his lifetime. (3)
I would say from looking at just these few statistics that sex isn't just sex. If sex was just
sex we wouldn't have these problems would we? Many of the offenders who
have molested young children claim to "love them". Does this mean that
they should be allowed to have sex with them?
Absolutely not!
Apparently I offended my unidentified cyber 'friend' so they wrote me back again.
"okay riddler[His
name for me. I must admit, I liked it and so adopted it as my own since
I usually ask questions to get people to think about a situation]....
You're bringing the whole idea of consent into the picture...Rape is
terrible, I don't disreguard those arguments as false at all...If
you could have thought about what I said instead of jumping into
divorce rates and consent issues..maybe you would understand what I am
saying...since you didn't I'll try to make it more clear.A RING is just a RING
A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.
Love
is love without those things,and I don't see why those material items
make such a difference in your life that you allow them to dictate who
and when you have sex. BUT if thats what you want for your life then by
all means go ahead. Im just TOTALLY sick of people trying to force
their beliefs on other people...GOD JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE AND GRANT
OTHERS THE SAME OPPORTUNITY.
and as far as the divorce rates its
probably because people who wait do it for religious purposes 95% of
the time and therefore dont see divorce as a way out of a sh****
marriage...and therefore their stuck...and they choose to be that way
to keep face for their RELIGION.
Im sick of this holier than thou attitude."
So they admitted that rape was wrong, but they became angry that I brought up the issue of consensual sex.
I am sorry, but I do believe that both consensual sex and unconsensual sex both have the word sex
in them. By simple logic that means that it doesn't matter what term
you call it by; whether rape or making love, it is still sex.
And
like I stated before, it is a known fact that many sex offenders (child
sex offenders at least) claim to 'love' the ones whom they have
molested.
And then my 'friend' decides to try and counter my
argument about divorce with his own. I think he may have been psychic
though, because I never told him that I was a Christian but he
apparently guessed correctly that I am when he tried to blow off my
statistics by stating that the reason those who wait and don't get
divorced is for "religious" reasons.
Would I be wrong to continue this debate with him?
That's debatable. *sly grin*
Did I anyway?
Of course.
"
Chicka... If you read my replies you will see that I never stated what
my beliefs were, so I'm not "forcing" my beliefs on anyone, least of
all you.I am just here to let you see a different side of the picture; one few people rarely see.
As
for your argument about the 95% that wait for religious purposes; don't
you read the paper, or watch the news? Though the divorce rate in the
majority of the world is only at 50%, the divorce rate of what people
like to call "Christians" is above that, closer to 75%. "Religious"
people are divorcing more than anyone else nowadays so your argument
there is not a valid one. And would you like to know the reason for all
their divorce?Sex that is "just sex".
People are leaving marriages all the time, and even those in high esteem in "the church".
And
their sex, being in any form it may take: pornography, rape,
fornication, premarital sex, incest, or sodomy; is what caused the end
result of their divorce.And if you would like, even read this over and see there are no "beliefs" here. Only cold hard facts.
Chiao
--Riddler[I told you I liked the name so I adopted it.]"
I
don't know if I've told you this before or not, but I have almost no
faith in "Christian" marriage, at least, not the way "Christendom" does
it today, for they are worse than the secular world. It's terrible when
the divorce rate of the "Church" is higher than that of the world.
Humor me for just a few more minutes. Because, well, he replied to me again, and this time, things got a little sticky.
"when
you look at sex for just sex and speak it with you mouth .. than ya its
just sex ... thats not the point of a relationship .. ive been in ones
where all it was about was sex 3 or 4 times a day .. theres a point
when you dont even like that person anymore you just know that you are
going some. marriage isnt just a piece of paper and a ring means
nothing. if you were married and took off the ring your still with that
person. marrige isnt just saying i do .. its a convent with god
promising that you will be there for each other through thick and thin.
if your with your girlfriend or wife and a hot girl walks by and in
your head u say dang id love the bang that crap out of her .. then ur
relationship is out of lust and not love .. trust me i used to think
the same way about sex because i was blinded from the truth .. i
personally dont have a religion and i have a relationship with god ..
for the first time in my life i have finally found someone that i can
honestly say i like for who she is and not wat she is .. i dont look at
her as a piece of meat .. i look at her as a person and the one that
god created her to be .. you can say wat you want to say but its not
going to help you when the time has come .."
He
doesn't have a religion but instead "a relationship with God" and yet
he is in a sexually active relationship with a young lady?
Which god do you have a relationship with buddy? The god of self?
And blinded from the Truth? What Truth, what Veritas is it that you put your faith in? John 8:32 states that the Truth, real
Truth will set you free. But the truth that you are living by is not a
freeing truth, is in fact, not a truth at all, but a facade, a
deception, a lie.
And would everyone like to know what the worst part of this whole thing is?
I found out later that this person is on my "friends" list on Facebook.
The only friends I have on Facebook that are guys claim to be Christians.
I
suggest, my dear sir, that you examine yourself and find the Real Truth
and have a relationship with the Almighty God and stop being a slave to
self which is lying to you with its make-believe fairy-tales of feelgoodness.
--Joshuah Croghan a.k.a. 'Riddler'
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1 Information found @ RAINN.org
2 Information found @ darkness2light.org
3 Information found @ National Alert Registry
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