During my life I've been given the opportunity to experience indescribable happiness and the deepest sadness a human being can suffer. After years of conflicted feelings and philosophical disputes within my mind and heart I have finally come upon my inner and absolute life truth.
Life is meaningless. Any day, any hour, any minute, any second, the most important people and things in your life can be stolen away by random chance and circumstance. The ideals of true love, friendship and family do not exist within the real world, as is true of the yearning for the existence of God, justice or destiny.
We kid ourselves into believing these things because as sentient beings we know deep down at the edge of our consciousness, the universe that has created us and in which we live is a non-living, cold and unfeeling collection of random processes that will almost certainly grind us back down into dust.
It could be a sudden pulse of cosmic radiation killing every living thing on this planet, or it could be a automobile accident resulting in the death of your entire family. It could be your wife telling you they no longer love you (or they love someone else) or it could be growing old and dying alone, your name and all that you are dying with you.
Such disturbing information must be offset if we are to continue to function, otherwise the meaningless of living and the instinct to continue living can entwine, stalling our decision making and emotional facilities. That is why we force ourselves to believe in such things as God, hope, destiny or love.
I have struggled most of my life trying to grasp or deny this realization. Yet, after the events of a 48 hour period, which resulted in the loss of my girlfriend, job, ability to continue my education and the discovery that I soon will have no place to live, it has become clear to me.
I am now beyond sadness or regret, beyond depression or hope. My consciousness exists within a sea of complete apathy. I trust no one. Want nothing. Not even to continue my existence. Nor am I driven to end it. I have been liberated in the most meaningful sense of the word.
Some may say my lack of emotion is a defense mechanism to cope with indescribable loss. Instead I ask you to consider surrendering your hopes, dreams, wants and desires. Embrace the cold reality and you too might be set free from sadness, disappointment or betrayal.
Find your enlightenment, as I have.
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