I had a class today that dealt with the effects that divorce has on children well up until their adulthood. Basically, we watched an episode of Oprah in which two popular psychiatrist examined children and adults who parents divorced. Ofcourse the children were tramatized, as most are shortly after finding out the news. But the most startling part of the show was when they exposed the enourmous amount of adults who claimed to still be feeling the effects of their parent's split. According to the doc's children of divorce feel the most profound impact in their twenties and thirties. They also experience certain characteristics such as:
constant fear of betrayal
fear of being alone
fear of loss and failure
fear of change
lack of committment in relationships
along with the negative characteristics, there were a few positive, such as:
closer bonds with siblings
excel at work
respect for marriage, relationships and parenting
compassion towards others
My parents divorced six years ago. At the time I didnt think their divorce would have that much of an impact on me. I actually wanted them to divorce and looked forward to it because they constantly argued and seemed so unhappy. I thought that once they split up, it would be like a new beginning for our family. I thought we would all be happier and hopefully grow closer, even though we would have experiences with our parents seperately. I was way wrong though. Divorce tore my family apart. My mother left and wanted nothing to do with us for about a year after they split. I was left being mommy to my two confused and angry siblings. My father took no control of our household, fell into depression, and we almost lost our house. My relationship with my parent is ruined. I do not trust or respect them. Not only that, but I fear that if i get married, it will end up as badly as theirs did. I show signs of several of the characteristics I listed above. I was just curious how many others feel the same way I do.
Do you still feel that your parents divorce effects your life?