A Plea to the Mothers of Males: Please don't lose your minds.
Why is it that when a woman has a son she goes ape-shit-crazy? I mean, every girl that is within dating range of her perfect little voting-age-drinking-age-living-on-his-own bundle of joy is a whore/slut/tramp/goodfornothing(you get the point.)?
I'm only dating my boyfriend, but it's been long enough and serious enough that I could consider his mother my Mother-In-Law. Those words strike fear into the hearts of many young women because of horror stories fed to them by other women. The saddest part being that the stories are true!
I've been through the ringer. Everything from me being wrong on any possible subject I have enough information to form an opinion about, to being told that I should not be offended by her interrupting me because it's her house and I get to talk to her son more than she does (This was told to me basically in a "sit down and shut up" way, and by the way, we see her every night for dinner.) She tells people that we force her to make us dinner, when in reality every time we want to make dinner for ourselves at our own house, whether we give her proper warning or not, she is offended and angry. It's so bad that I told my beau we should budget for counseling for his mother in our wedding budget.
If she was just flat-out mean about it I would probably handle it better, but she offsets it with sudden bursts of niceness. Now, don't get me wrong. It's more like we expect her to be rude and she surprises us by being nice - not the other way around. So it's rather hard for me to just say she's a witch with a B, because sometimes she does nice things. The nice things are sometimes done in a sneeky fashion though. For instance, she bought my beau a new bed for Christmas - aww, right? Moving on - Well, I went with to pick it out, and the beau and I saw a rather expensive coffee table that we rather liked. We started talking about both paying for half of it, and considering it our Christmas present to each other. Lovely idea, right? For starters his mother responded to this idea with "Well who gets it when you break up?" Logical question, I suppose, but rude none the less. We've been dating for quite some time and obviously have plans for the future. We don't plan on breaking up but if it were to happen I'm sure we would rather deal with these issues then. I had barely recovered from this slashing comment in time for the bed to be delievered...along with the coffee table! She had "surprised" my beau by buying it for him as well. A nice gesture - or was it?
Also, my lovely beau is finally acknowledging the antics of his mother, and not telling her things that he shouldn't. He did slip, however, and while talking about an equitable account that he is in possesion of, his mother started to tell him how he should spend the money (no surprise there). He accidentally said, "Oh no, that's my ring money". She flipped a lid. The most memorable comment was "You better not be spending that kind of money on a ring, no woman is worth that much." Alright - First of all, it's only $2,000. Second, I didn't even know the money existed until he told me it was, and then informed me what he intended to use the money for, so it's not like I demanded that he had to spend it on me. I may not care how much my future engagement ring costs, but that's not to say that I'm not worth $2,000!
I've tried to be nice to her, I really have. I haven't blown up at her (yet). And in the beginning I didn't even vent to my beau about his mother, because I didn't think it would be right. Ultimately, though, her actions hurt my feelings so bad, and they were so outlandish that I had to say something to him. Now we both recognize, and joke about, his mother's bitchy, negative ways.
Anyways. Having used this singular relationship of mine as a personal example, I would love to know what switch gets flipped to "bitch" when a woman has a son. And I beg of you, any woman out there who has a young son, and the switch hasn't flipped yet -- Don't let it happen! For the sake of your son's future girlfriends and wife...Just don't! Do you really want your son's girlfriend reccomending that they figure a way for you to get counseling before she marries your son, just so the marriage will go smoother? Do you really want your son's relationships to be damaged by your unexplicably rude ways?
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