iT was 4 in the morning and i just finished sipping on my country time lemonade and i managed to calm myself down. i wAs in the lobby acting silly like my regular self with the secruity guard and a few of her ppl, so that helped me too. i jUst needed to blog so my thoughts won't keep me up for an extra unneeded hour.
i wEnt to this house party by force. i rEally didn't want to go because i knew what was going to be there waiting for me. bUt, my friend was going to end up there by herself, and i felt bad leaving her alone like that. sO i went in my sweatpants n scarf because i damn sure wasn't going to waste any clean clothes for sum wack ass party. bEfore we even get there i am ticked off because 1. we run into sum of her friends headed there, but still she wants me around. 2. the friends we rode with were under the influence of something and the driver didn't fess up to it until we got there. tHe girl lied to me and put my life in her hands. i dOn't like that. yOu wanna take risks, don't do it with me around. yA digg?
aNyway i go in the party and its hot as hell and i can already tell most the ppl is intoxicated. tHen to top it off they playin that go-go and i am still not use to it. sO i take my position against the wall. tHere isn't any point of even tryin to search the crowd because i already know there isn't anyone cute for me. sO i'm just waiting on my friend. tHen i got this young man with no game standing next to me tryin to 'kick it' and get me to dance with him. aNd let me just add at the last skool function, he tried to dance wit me twice and got turned down each time. tHou i do think i danced wit him at least once in between the rejections but he didn't have any rhythm.
tHen not but like 10 minutes go by and police knock on the door and shine a m fing camera in the place sayin he has mace. oH hell no! i gEt very upset because i'll be damed if i get maced on behalf of my friend. tHe police leave after the dude throwing it talks with him or whatever. bUt im not with staying. fOr what!?
sO police can come back on sum other case. sO i walk out. i dOn't care if she is in there without me, since technically she can chill wit her drunk and/or high friends. bUt being such a responsible individual, i call her telling her i'm leaving. sHe come out and we are about to walk but noooo she procrasinates. i aM so ready to leave her, i don't mind the walk. i wOuld have keyed up someone who stepped at me wrong. i wAs that upset, i wanted to relieve sum tension on some stupid individual. bUt yea she had me walk up and down with her a good 3 times until i had it and walked behind these 3 intoxicated girls headed toward my dorm building.
aNd you know what! sHe only wanted to come to the party to check on her boyfriend and make sure he wasn't with any other females. aNd he was the reason why she keep lingering around. sHe was waiting on him to call her and she stood behind for him, too.
sO yea i walked that walk just thinking, college is more immature than people in high school. iM much too mature for this dumb... i dOn't need to drink to be comfortable and have fun and "party". iT is unnecessary to me, i don't care wut anyone says. ::sHakes head:: cOllege students are really f-ing stupid. aNd i really must apologize before i state this...i tHink i would feel better to see white ppl cutting up and acting like this than black ppl. bEcause i mean they would be living down to their name and messing it up for themselves. aNd i gUess because it is my population, im disgusted more.
tHese are the days that keep reminding me i don't belong here. iF this is really how college is supposed to be. lEt me take some online classes, something so i won't have to deal with this.
tHis year has been full of nothing but disappointments. i'M going to lay down and hope i drift straight to sleep, and hopefully i won't wake up til midday. sO there will be less time for me to just shake my head at this place they call "the best years of your life."
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