Two times in two weeks I've had a conversation with friends about agnosticism. Both friends -- one a rational, intelligent person and another one who ... well, let's just say he wasn't as bright -- claimed to be agnostic when asked the very, very loaded question "Do you believe in God?"
I used to just ignore it when people would answer "I'm agnostic," to such a question, even though I took issue with it. As an atheist, I knew that my so-called agnostic friends were really atheists.
Maybe they didn't know it yet, but I knew it.
But in these two cases I actually discussed the issue with them both. The first time, it was a short and interesting conversation in which we ended up both agreeing that my pal was indeed an atheist. The second conversation was much longer, much more difficult, and ended without a rational conclusion. Such is often the way with theistic discussions.
I'll try again with all of you, and see how many "agnostics" I can convince to start calling themselves "atheists." Get comfortable, and open your mind ...
Let's start with a definition to make sure we understand the word "theism": a theist has a belief in the existence of a god or a pantheon of gods. That's what theism is. So, if you have a belief in one or more gods then you are a theist. Simple so far, right?
If you are unsure whether you believe in a god, try hitting Google for phrases like "list of gods" or "who can I worship?" or "names by which I can disavow responsibility for my own actions."
If you have a belief in one or more gods then you are a theist. Conversely (and here's the part that trips people up for some reason) if you are not a theist, then you are an atheist. That's the only other choice. Atheism and theism are a binary, tautological pair and they cover the entire range of possibilities. There is no third choice.
Agnosticism is not a third choice. For that matter, being a real estate agent or a woman or a speaker of Esperanto is not a third choice. You cannot claim, for instance, "I am not a theist or an atheist, instead I speak Esperanto."
Agnosticism is the notion that one cannot have knowledge of the existence of a god. Note that being agnostic has nothing to do with belief. You can believe in the existence of a chair, or not have belief in the existence of a chair -- that's the whole range when it comes to belief in that chair. As a wholly separate issue, there is the idea that you can have knowledge of that chair or that you are not able to have knowledge of that chair. This has nothing to do with belief aside from the rational idea that if you do happen to have knowledge of a thing then it follows that you will believe in it, if you are sane.
Of course, some would argue that belief in a mystical, spiritual, or even just invisible force that guides your life and has secret plans for you would be a good indication that you are, in fact, not sane by the normal definition of such things. But that's another issue.
One's agnosticism has nothing to do with one's answer to the question "do you believe in God?" because that is a question about belief. It is similarly the case that one's gender, ability to speak Esperanto, and real estate license status have nothing to do with that question either. We might think they are of interest to bring up, perhaps to avoid answering or perhaps because we're just talkative, but they do not answer the question.
That question is answered with "yes, I am a theist" or "no, I am an atheist." It cannot be answered with "I am a French real estate agent." It cannot be answered with "I speak Esperanto and can sell you a lively new home overlooking a golf course." And it cannot be answered with "I am agnostic."
Now, the question can be avoided with any of these answers, but if you are going to duck the question then at least do so with something original. Don't just say "I'm agnostic." Instead say something like "Do I believe in God? Well, let me tell you -- hey, is that an invisible magic monkey tree behind you?" Then run away. If the person turns to look, then next time they confront you then you can hit them with "Do you believe in invisible magic monkey trees?"
I wonder how you say that in Esperanto?
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