As seventh grade went on, my confidence was slowly shattered. My best friend was so cute and desirable, and I felt like the girl standing back in the shadows. Toward the end of the year, my best friend and I got a third best friend. She is still one of the most stunning girls I have ever seen, and was so small and cute.
In later elementary school, we watched a video about eating disorders. I made a promise to myself that I would never develop one. I also made a promise to myself that I would enter 7th grade thin. Neither promise was kept.
The title is lyrics from a song that I used to always listen to, like a couple years ago. I am still trying to figure out what exactly the lyrics could mean, but to me they are saying that having a fear of loving a person can change you and sometimes it might be for the worst. I sometimes feel like after being hurt once it is kinda always in the back of my head that it could happen again.
Where do you go when you've become the person that you never wanted to become, and you feel like it's too late to change?
I read comments people have left me from my previous post and one really stuck out to me. The person told me that if I start loving myself that I'll eventually feel better about everything around me. I really think that person is right. I think that most of the problems I have at this point are because I don't really believe in myself or have self confidence anymore.
Lately I have been writing about how I've been acting and how it's been bothering. Well for a while I was starting to feel better, then something happened and I felt the same again. And recently I was starting to feel better, BUT tonight it kind of got ruined again. I hate how it happens, and the sad thing about it is...it's ALL my own fault.
I subscribe to Star Magazine-- but only because I got it for free from a rebate from Office Depot. I also subscribe to U.S. News & World Report. Also free. And I must say, these publications are exactly what they offer: Free Dirt.
Jennie Runk is an international plus-size model. She is a size 12, same as me, and is about 5 inches taller. She has zits, cellulite, and frizzy curls. She is studying a major in creative writing. She is smart, hilarious, bold and worldly.
