My vivid imagination, and self-destructive ways have always left me morbidly obsessed with the macabre. I may be one of the only girls that has extensively planned my funeral and given no thought to a wedding...Previously, as an engaged 17 year-old, I had no interest in choosing gown, invitations, or guests.
I once read a book on suicide, something I had thought extensively about...my dramatic exit from earth...and it said that children who, when they were born, had stopped breathing for any amount of time were more likely to commit suicide and were less afraid of death. I was one of those babies that struggled thru great difficulties at birth. Many times I stopped breathing...and reading that book made me say, "Ahhh, the answer to why I am so weird."
