I have way too many dreams. Some are some what unrealistic and I am afraid of failure. I have an idea for a book, but I don't bother to write it because I don't want to fail. I am afraid of failure and alot of the times it has held me back. I still don't know what career I want to pursue because frankly the economy is awful and it is hard to judge what career will make it through.
Ever since 911, I've found it very difficult to reestablish my friendship with God. I used to be a very devout Christian. But after seeing those towers fall, I think i've lost my faith. I just don't understand how God could send so many people to hell (since obviously not everyone in those buildings were trully saved) without rhyme or reason. Like the towers, i've felt my faith break.
You know what I absolutely love doing?
Throughout time many people have questioned the idea of getting something back that you have once lost. There are those who believe it can be regained and other think that once it is gone it will not come back. For me, I honestly do not know which side I agree with more. I really hope that is something lost can be brought back, even if it can take a while.
As I mentioned last time Ben also has a long lost brother that I found. His brother is 27 and has been in the national guard. Today, Ben recieved a reply from his brother.
Ben was a boy who grew up without a dad. He knew he had one, because he remembered when he was little being on his knee. He remembered a big mustache and that was about it. When he was four his dad left and he heard from him no more.
At times in life, when I stop distressed,
To find my wounds, lying undressed,
And all I can feel is lonelyness and pain,
Like being left outside in the dark and cold rain.
At times in life, when I do tire,
Theres nobody there who's company I admire.
I walk alone, looking for happiness,
But all I find is a large emptiness.
it seems like the things once desired collapse as age takes its toll like the desiree loses this part of them, one which one used to long for things we think also soon fade and new thoughts arrive and make in there way we are always changing individuals in a world were change is undeniable we love ourselves now, but then years go by look back and think how?
