expectations

WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SEEM TO FEEL LIKE THEY ARE IN CHARGE!?!?!? WHY DO THEY HAVE THIS IMAGE IN THEIR HEADS AND ALL WOMEN HAVE TO BECOME IT OR BE CRITICIZED!

After another college visit and here the same spiel that is always given I began to seriously wonder about what college is going to be like for me. That’s right I’ll be in college in less than 6 months and only now am I starting to think this.

To my mother

It just occurred to me that I’m trapped. I know what you’re thinking: What are you talking about? Well, let me tell you exactly what I mean.

This world was not built for me. It exhausts me. For most of my life, I have felt like an inadequate freak, because I hate parties, I hate meeting new people, and I am always two thoughts behind in the conversation. People have "diagnosed" me as all kinds of things--shy, ADD, bitchy, snobby, stand-offish, anti-social. In reality, I am none of those (except maybe ADD). You should see me work a room! When I am 'on,' all eyes are on me. I say all the right things, make people laugh, and leave the party with a loyal following of fans. Then I go home and hate people for three days straight. I am an Introvert.

I'm tired of people telling me what to do with my life. I"m sure that I've visited this topic before, but once again I feel like people are trying to tell me what to do with my life. It usually starts with, "Hey, you would be good at this." But then it turns into a, "You should really consider this as a career option." And it progresses from there.

While reading The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama, I came upon a quote that I found to be so true and so close to me.

"Every man is trying to live up to his father's expectations, or make up for his father's mistakes."

I'm constantly trying to live up to my father's expectations.