I can feel all the walls closing in around me. It takes me forever to get to sleep at night and once I finally do get to sleep, in the wee hours of the morning, I never want to wake up. I sleep though the entire morning and well into the afternoon, awaken constantly by the ringing phone. Damn creditors.
It has been a growing fear of mine that I will leave high school without a sense of whom I want to be and who I have already become. It has been a long expedition getting this far in my path of self acceptance and realization but it is not even close to being over. I wonder everyday who I am getting dressed up for and why it matters so much to me if I have a date for a dance or not.
The first three decades of my life are best described as "difficult." Many have remarked that I am brave to have overcome so much. Three decades ago I was a very different man than I am today: 600+ lbs, community college drop-out, pessimistic, unemployed, unhappy, suicidal. Many predicted I'd be dead.
