Critique my writing

Fall and Applesauce

It’s that time of year again,  Read More »

Why is it that just a smile can break

Down all of my walls?  Read More »

Door Shut, of Course

Releasing all contained energy to various parts of my body  Read More »

martyrs were tried
and died
for their causes
under these same blue, red and white banners
that we fly over our skies
with airs of prestige and pride
but it seems like
we haven't progressed as much
as we'd like to think
or at least
not in a positive manner  Read More »

black. yellow. red. brown.
the most upside-down culture
you ever heard of
why? why call him brother?
when you won't date a sister
because she's... too black. too bright
not dark enough, not light enough
like "I like them peanut butter cups"
'cause the white man's got your
head messed up, cuz
her, too  Read More »

This is a short story I wrote one day. I hope you like it, please tell me your thoughts.  Read More »

Back during Freshman year, I wrote a piece entitled "Chasing the Belief of Nothing." This is that version:

   Read More »

Flying through
Indeterminately,
Never understanding meaning
As time goes by.

Lasting impressions
Sewed by experience
Train the unseen circumstance.

Again he faces trial,
Gaining upon himself,
Even as he looks
Overhead for the answers.

Find for what you were searching?

Running blindly,
Exercising every possibility,
Making every effort,
Only to come up short.

Racking his brain to
Somehow find
Everything he desires.

Continuous destruction
Endless suffering
Persistent erosion
Of the soul that torments
And corrodes him.

Make the effort,
Receive award.

Live how you need,  Read More »