alone

After finally receiving an acceptance letter from my top choice college, I have begun to fantasize about the turn my life will take.

A loner served in shadows
A life tucked away a dark pocket
A world that is blind to the darkness
A boy with little hope left

Sigh
The shadows draw near
As more blood is taken
Seeping away beneath the clothes
A dying last wish
To make a scene

No one sees it
No one speaks it
And no one knows

I HAVE BEEN LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN NAMED CASTLE ROCK, COLORADO FOR 5-6 MONTHS NOW AND I AM SO ALONE HERE. MY FAMILY , MOTHER AND I, ARE THE ONLY BLACK FAMILY LIVING IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. I WAS BORN AND RAISED IN SEATTLE, WASHINGTON. THERE IS A PLETHORA OF DIFFERENT HUED PEOPLE AND ETHNICITIES GALORE. WHEN I CAME DOWN HERE I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE ONLY WHITES AND MEXICANS LIVING HERE.

Alright 

I'll never look like the models in those magazines

I dream of the day in which I will be freed, the chains that bind me still broken. I wait for the day in which I will be saved, the emptiness inside me fully fulfilled. the day that light will shine upon the dark recesses of my heart. A time when the void inside me begins to fade, giving way to light. I stand alone with no one by my side. Kind words of loyalty always seem to fade for priorities lie elsewhere and I am left alone. I stand amidst a sea of loyal friends yet I know I am alone. I am of little importance standing next to them. I am but a servant to those in need, I, myself, do not deserve to be cared for. I am only here to serve and be used, going unappreciated. Taken for granted like the air we breathe or the sun that warms us never have I known, felt significant.