SarahJ's blog

Well, I felt I couldn't take,
another day inside this place.
From silent dreams you’ll never wake,
you’re starless eyes, for heaven's sake,
but [I thought I heard you] anyway:

            “Don’t stop if I fall
            and don’t look back.
            Bury me
            and fade to black.
            I miss you so far,
            All I wanted to say
            is go on,
            live your life.”

But you're so far away.
Get the feeling that you’re never all alone
and I remember now,
you are never coming home.
All the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.
If you were here I'd never have a fear.
Cause I mean this more than words can ever say;
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“And now the little star gave me an idea, and I made up my mind then and there that it should most certainly be that night. But why the little star gave me the idea – I don’t know.”
-Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Dream of a Ridiculous Man

A man on the verge of suicide has to have a spark, something to send him over the edge, to push him into black oblivion. For the narrator of Dostoevsky’s story, this spark was the star he saw while walking home. From that star on, the man began planning his self-imposed death.  Read More »