reneex061's blog

I do not like the fact that most of my blogs recently are about how my self-esteem is low. It bothers me to think that there is so many things about myself that I need to fix in order for myself, and others to feel better.

Throughout time many people have questioned the idea of getting something back that you have once lost. There are those who believe it can be regained and other think that once it is gone it will not come back. For me, I honestly do not know which side I agree with more. I really hope that is something lost can be brought back, even if it can take a while.

Valentines Day is coming up, and it's mainly a holiday to buy that special someone a gift to show them how much you care for them. This year will be my first year that I will be spending it with someone I love. It is a really exciting time for me because I really want to buy him something special, that he won't forget and something that will make him smile.

Recently in my class in school we were talking about the topic gun control, and I have been thinking about it. At first I felt like guns should be taken away from all people who have them for hunting and no "real" purpose but to kill animals; only reason they are needed it for police and such to protect people. BUT I happened to change my mind about it recently also.

Once again I've used to one of my favorite song's lyrics as my title. It sorta explains how I've been feeling lately. It's all just so hard and confusing to me of why I feel the way I do. I mean I know why, I just don't know why I'm getting treated a certain way to feel the way that I do. To sum it up I guess my confidence in my self and my self-esteem are slow fading.

It's the last day in December and I'm sitting here wondering what next year will bring to me. I am really hoping it will be good and even better than this year was. 2007, I have to admit was a good year for me. I found love, the kind of love I have been waiting for me. I found so much in just one person this year, and it's still so amazing to me.

The title is lyrics from a song that I used to always listen to, like a couple years ago. I am still trying to figure out what exactly the lyrics could mean, but to me they are saying that having a fear of loving a person can change you and sometimes it might be for the worst. I sometimes feel like after being hurt once it is kinda always in the back of my head that it could happen again.

Where do you go when you've become the person that you never wanted to become, and you feel like it's too late to change?