So I'm planning on going in a whole different direction with my life...I plan on changing who I'm going to hang out with in school, who my new friends are going to be, and how I'll be acting around others differently( my ex-close best friends). I guess I decided to do this for myself because I'm so tired of waiting around for others to change their bad attitudes..no matter I have been patient with them and understanding them..it seems that they wouldn't care if I were even to dissappear..since they seem to easily forget that I even exist and the fact that they have been consistently been leaving me out in there little outings to go out to lunch and the movies and hangouts....they seem to feel that i have no feelings or that i would just let anything slide just because they are my friends...ya i'll forgive them from time to time but it's not like i'll ever forget what they did to me and how much they have hurt me from this past previous months and weeks! I need to be in control over my own life and my emotions..and not get to attached to anyone and i must teach myself that being alone can be a good thing at times because sometimes in real life, being independent works out for some people and they may be going there own ways to achieve there goals in a better and smoother direction...I guess....
Margaritta's blog
my personal makeover of my social life
quotes in my xanga
I can't listen to my favorite songs anymore because
each drum beat is a massacre
each keystroke is a regret
& each chord is a memory of you...
don't pick up the phone.
don't bother to look in my direction.
I should have seen it all along.
it's boys like you that make me think
i'm better off home on a saturday night
with all my doors locked up tight.
I won't be thinking about you, baby.
Forget everything you think you know about me
senior prom
As of right now I really want to go to prom with someone from my school but I have already given my forms and the ticket and it's just for one.I Also couldn't pay for the other person's ticket because I didnt know whether he was going to ask me to prom but he did and he asked me at a late time. Which would be the deadline to give the tickets. Why do people wait at the last minute when doing anything that is important to them. Like the one that asked me to prom was my friend David and I said yes to him and my friends didnt have room for him at our table so he couldnt be my partner! I told him that he could still go if he wants to but not at the same table just so that I can have someone to dance with when it comes to slow dances. I mean who wants to be left out when there are slow dances at your promnight and everyone that you know that has a date is dancing with there partner except you! Nobody wants that..you can't be the third wheel! well anyways I really hope that David finds some person to go with but no a girl cause I like him and just sit with them until it's time to dance.
fixed emotions...meaning "Love"
My obsession of love has come to a point in my life where I don't want to be in love with no man. The feeling I have for this guy is so strong that it has complete control over me. It's so hard to just forget about what I have done for him and having feelings for him just so that I can love another man. I want to be able to give all my love to another man without thinking of him, having second thoughts or falling back in love with him. I want to fall in love with another man because the man now doesn't seem to understand that he means the whole world to me and that I can't live without him. I have told him several times that I love him and that he's the only one for me but he thinks that the messages I send him aren't that important and that it's just a sentimental thing I've been doing for him. I told him that I would wait a life time if I could to have him but a lifetime is too long. There are other guys out there waiting for my love and I'm so tired of being blinded by love. The thought of having to forget everything about him hurts but I know it needs to be done in order for me to open my heart fully to this new person. These fixed emotions I feel in me hurts me so much that I lose site of what I'm doing including not only friends and family but my work in school! My mind starts to wonder in any class or lunch and thinking that I can never change what I'm feeling until the right time has come that I don't have feelings for him. I need to either ask him to help me forget about having feelings for him or move to another development that is as far away from his home. If you have any comments or advice for me. I'd gladly appreciate it, thanks!
