everProgressive's blog

What makes handbags a female thing? I think men should start carrying as well. Handbags are actually very handy. You can put a lot of stuff there and look pretty. Two positives don't make a negative. If you're really not into looking pretty, you could get a plain-looking handbag. There's no excuse. Why can women do male things but not vice versa? We need to break this ridiculous double standard at one point or another. Why not now?  Read More »

Over the weekend, not long after Thanksgiving Day, I unexpectedly received a few hate mails. While the circumstance is not important, I thought to share a few tips on how to write proper hate mails because I realize there are more people in this world who love writing hate mails as opposed to, y'know, being a bit smarter than that. I thought about calling this blog "Hate Mail Etiquette," but the title would create such a paradox!

1. Turn off the caps lock key.

Let me just quote Maddox on this subject: "Seven sixteenths of one inch. That's the distance you'd have to move your pinky in order to not sound like an idiot. I know the burden of pressing shift to capitalize is a great one, but c'mon Turing, you can do better than that. I used to type emails in caps like yours, but then I decided that I didn't want a job mixing concrete."

The difference between Maddox and me is that I never typed anything in all caps. Therefore, I'm still superior to one of my idols himself. In your face, Sir Maddox!

2. Don't abandon proper grammar.

I don't know if most people lose everything they've learned about grammar when they're very angry, but if you're among these people, please do some grammar check before you click the send button! See, bad grammar is not equal to badass. Believe me, you'll sound a lot more intimidating if you use proper grammar.  Read More »

Actually, we know why. It's because you're insecure. Our speaking another language makes you aware that you're one of the few monolingual creatures around. Even after you took three years of Spanish in high school, you can't carry a conversation in Spanish and your pronunciation of the Spanish r is remarkably bad.

You're afraid that we're talking about you right in your face, and you know what? Your worries are justified. Remember that time when you entered the elevator and we started giggling? Yeah, we were laughing at you from the start! Everything about you was just giggleable! We didn't even have the courtesy to whisper when we talked about you. Even if you could hear us, you wouldn't understand!  Read More »

That's right, I'm telling you, you, and you over there to stop blogging for a while. Though this may sound counterprogressive, this is actually very progressive. I will liken reading to walking and writing to running. Although this analogy has been overused, it is somewhat applicable here. If you can't walk, you can't run. If you try to run, you may stumble and hurt yourself. In some cases, your fall will interfere with the course of the race because some people will trip over you and fall along. You don't want to do that.  Read More »

To keep two different parties legally bound under a contract is usually a positive thing. It keeps open-mindedness in check, and people need to work out their differences and learn to get along. However, the relationship between the the Democrats and the Republicans in the past years have been especially bad. You know this marriage is no longer healthy when debating is about name-calling and campaigning is about tracing down the other candidate's evil doings and displaying them to the world. Half of the country clearly isn't happy with Bush and is ashamed to have him as the president, and if a Democrat becomes the president in the next election, the other half will bt just as unhappy. If we keep going by the ruling of the majority, there's no pleasing everyone! Why can't the two parties just file for divorce and have the Republicans and the Democrats live in two separate countries?  Read More »

Due to my undying love of blogging and my chronic procrastination tendencies, I will now take some time to write about the instant ramen noodles. I feel it unfair that people have labeled instant ramen noodles as the unhealthiest food in the history of mankind. There's an urban legend of how one college student who consumed instant ramen noodles (for hereon, let's use the abbreviation "IRN") for every meal every day ended up dead. Yeah, well, small wonder. Anything that is consumed excessively and without variations can't be good for you. Eat broccoli for every meal every day and see how long you'll last. I suspect not so long.  Read More »

Aside from the spontaneous explosion I did earlier this morning, you'll notice that I haven't posted any blog in the past twenty-four hours. That is because, my friends, I was working on this impressive composition on how to end the great abortion debate. Since the debate has been going on for who knows how long, it is time we take extreme measures. From now on, sex shall be prohibited from the face of this earth. No sex = no pregnancies. No pregnancies = no talking about what to do with the unborn babies. Simple concept, no?  Read More »

As you know by now, the future of English is currently under threat. Chatspeak and bad grammar have become a national epidemic, and high school students in New Zealand reportedly are allowed to write their term paper in chatspeak from now on. I mean, WTF! Forget complaining about those immigrants who refuse to speak English in this country! We need to first start working with people who were actually born in an English-speaking environment. It's bad enough being American has become synonymous with being monolingual, but some of us can't even write the only language we know appropriately?! WTF! Doesn't that make some of us only semi-monolingual then?  Read More »