Carmen's blog

On April 26th I was a participant in the Day of Silence - a nationwide, annual youth movement to show support for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender people and their allies. I was silent for the day, communicating when necessary via a small pad of paper and a slip of paper explaining the idea of the Day of Silence - that every voice that goes unheard on that day is a reminder of the voices who are silent because of the prejudice towards them.

Going into college next year I keep hearing the people around me saying that "real life" starts soon, and I can't help but wonder - if this is real life, what was my life before? Was it less real? Did it mean nothing? Because I was a child, was my life before now unimportant? And I cannot agree with them - real life does not start soon.

People seem to think that there is no chance to make a difference or to live with intensity pre-highschool graduation, that once college (or graduation or my first job or marriage or kids or retirement) rolls around things can really get started. They just wait for someday - someday I'll get a better grade in math, or I'll start exercising or I'll stand up to my parents, my friends, my boss. Someday my life will start. It makes me want to scream - no, no! Real life is now! today! Stop waiting for someday, someday is always too far away. All you have is today! People worry so much about what they will do tomorrow, next week, next month, and they forget about what they are doing now, when now is all you can really count on - like in existentialism, all you know is that you are here now, that you exist now, all other things are questionable. It is so disappointing, it's so frustrating to me to hear people talk about real life, about someday; if this is not real then what is? If this is not someday then when is? Stop waiting - you cannot wait forever. Real life does not start soon. Real life is now.