I was supposed to hang out with my boyfriend this Saturday. We were going to the carnival one town over, and walk in the parade. Yesterday, he called me and told me he wouldn’t be able to participate in this – after he and I had planned this for a month, he was fine with it – because his neighbor’s having surgery on Friday.
It started this past Saturday.
There was a point in time where I didn’t want to be a girl, do girly things, dress up, wear makeup, wear dresses… I wanted boy stuff like Hot Wheels and boy clothes and a boy name. The stage lasted from age five to twelve, when I started experiencing puberty… And I suddenly liked my body. I suddenly felt like a girl, and I liked it. I’m not transgender.
I’ve never “casually dated” a guy before. Any guy I’ve gone out on a real date with has been my boyfriend. A lot of my friends are the same way – they see casual dating as slutty. It’s kind of funny, in my opinion, because none of my friends, or I, really have room to talk about the way other people act being slutty.
At the end of last year, I was a happy junior. I was unstressed about college, knew exactly where I wanted to go, had a great boyfriend and a great group of friends. I also had to choose my classes for my senior year.
I must be weird or something. My friends always tell me about the date that they just went on with the guy they’re seeing, and somehow the words, “He paid for it!” come out. They get that little look on their face like, “Look at me, I have him wrapped around my finger, he paid for it! Aren’t you excited?”… And then they seem to be put off when I just shrug my shoulders.
It seems like guys nowadays dislike condoms, for whatever reason.
From the age of 14 and a half to fifteen and a half, I was on birth control pills – Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo, to be exact. I went off it at fifteen, and recently decided, once again, to put myself on it. It wasn’t too hard to do, because my periods are awful (quite often, I have cramps that basically paralyze me from the abdomen down.
