I met my boyfriend, in September of my freshman year at college. He was a senior, looking forward to graduation, and entering the army. I was just trying to adjust and he helped me to see that college is all about balance. In the begining we did our best to stay just friends, but the chemistry was undeniable. So we took the plunge and fell hard and fast. The rest of the year seemed to fly by and when May came around, we were faced with the reality that we each had to go our separate ways. Eager and in love, he headed off to Washington state, while I went back to my hometown in New Jersey. With his 21 hour work days, phone calls became rare and texts messages accounted for most of our communication.
Though this summer has been a struggle, we are still doing our best to tough it out. He is currently on his way to Virginia, for a new job. In fall 2010 he will head overseas to Afgahnistan to fight for our country. How do people do it? I know that whats meant to be will be, but for the next 6 years this is going to be his life. One place to the next and to the next. Where do I fit into the equation?
Long Distance Relationships...Can They Really Work?
By mel_uhh_knee - Posted on August 7th, 2009
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it really sounds like you care for this man alot. and it seems that he went off to the army....instead of choose a different career where he can spend more time with you. granted i dont know the situation but if he really does care about you, then when he finds a job, he will get a plane ticket or you could get a plane ticket and spend the rest of the remaining time you guys have... together! i know it may not be that simple (if simple at all) but love RARELY is, and if you truly care about this guy then when he goes off in 2010 you will wait and pray he comes back soon. my brother in law was in the same situation and he signed up for 6 years and they arent all over troops like you would think, they dont keep asking them to go back and go back just because they signed up for 6 years. most of the time they just leave once and thats it besides a couple visits to training camps to make sure your in good physical shape... but thats not even untill he gets back. and.....you never know, he could be one of the ones to get sent home early, and he could spend his entire time overseas but he will be back before you know it. but if this guy is really serious about you he would make some serious effort into seeing you. but no matter what... you care about this guy very much and if it is as serious as you say it is. than you have no choice but to try to see this thing through til the end and hopefully he will serve a quick term over there and be back with money and be ready to settle down with you.
and if you really wanna squeeze your way into this complicated equation that is the relationship, just push harder and with a little more effort you can get where you wanna be =)........ and as to your question as to if long distance relationships can work or not... they most certainly can my brother in law went overseas for almost 2 years and when he came back he immediately went to school with the scholorship they provided him and he became a police officer and he was able to get a nice apartment for him and my sister until they had a baby and now they live in a big nice house with 2 beautiful children... i dont know if that is the route your hoping for with this relationship but i just wanna let you know that it can work. so hang in there =).
and... did you try talking him out of signing up for the army? and why doesnt he want to choose a dfferent career? and has he thought about what he is going to do after he is out of the army?
Don't waste your time upon creating self-inflicted drama... it’s naïf and will bring you nothing but pain, on his return from Afghanistan, he won’t be the same guy you knew before!
He will have experienced another reality, one which you can’t possibly relate to.
To consider in breaking up, is nothing to be frightened or ashamed of, other than that, prepare yourself for lots of suffering and pain to enter your life.
This is not advise, it’s how things are!
Think twice, good luck…