I don't often feel like a very good friend to people. I know I'm easy to get along with and all, but I've got a lot of shortcomings. The most I can usually offer when someone really needs a friend is a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
But somehow, I've found myself the confidante of all my friends. I'm the one they come to when they need to get something off their chest and are afraid that they'll be judged. Despite believing that I will be disappointed in them, or ashamed of something they've done, they come to me and confide in me when they really just need to talk to someone. They know what they've done is against my personal morals, and yet they still come.
And I'd never taken the time to ask myself why this is until tonight, when I was once again the person to turn to. And I realized something about myself.
I am harsh with myself. I am often finding reasons to be disappointed in myself, or ashamed, or angry. But when it comes to my friends... I'm not. When it comes to other people, when they're confused and afraid and need a friend, I'm completely nonjudgmental. I extend to them nothing but love.
It's not my place to judge other people. I can judge myself all I want, because it's my right as a human being to be self-critical. But everyone is different, and I can't force my views on others. What's right for me isn't necessarily right for anyone else. We are all individuals, and we each have to live our own lives. We make so many decisions every day that we can't possibly please everyone.
But it's not about pleasing anyone. When you make a mistake, mess up, do something in the spur of the moment and aren't sure how to feel about it, what the rest of the world thinks doesn't matter.
You've just got to be true to yourself. You have to decide if you are okay with your actions. That's the most important thing to remember in times of confusion. Worry about the rest of the world once you've reached your own stance on the situation. Sometimes things just happen, and you've got to learn to take life in stride and not dwell on worries, because that's no way to live. And I'm glad I was able to share this with my friend tonight. She genuinely felt better after talking to me, and I'm glad I was able to help her through a confusing time. These lessons I have learned the hard way, and I feel blessed that by sharing them with others, I can spare someone a little bit of the pain I went through.
And because she left with a smile, I feel like an excellent friend tonight.
