If you've read Tiara's story, you know my stance on welfare. Over the past 6 years, I have met wonderful children who have been failed by the welfare system and by their parent(s). These children will never be able to tell their story, so I will. I want to give everyone a glimpse at what life as a child of welfare looks like. I was a little unusual as a landlord - I am a mother of 2 boys and over the years my kids and I did many things to make the kids whose parents rented from us feel special. On Thanksgiving, we would donate food to those families who were hungry. On Christmas Eve, we always had one gift for each child and we hand delievered them to the kids. My kids learned invaluable lessons in seeing how the tenant's children lived and seeing how that one gift they handed out made each child so happy. I am grateful for the good and the bad that my children witnessed at tenant's homes - it has enriched their lives and made them kinder, more thoughtful, and more grateful for the life they have been given. That leads me to Ishia's story.
Ishia's mother became my tenant 4 years ago. I knew Edna well, over the years I have helped her with food, clothing, and furniture for her family. I spent a lot of time listening to her story over the years as well as the stories her children told me. For some reason, her family held a special place in my heart because of Edna's suffering and because her children deserved much better than Edna could provide. I always rooted for her to somehow overcome her demons, but over time realized that it would never happen.
Edna was a single mother to twin daughters, Ishia & Crystal, and a son who was born with cerebal palsy. By the time she became my tenant, Edna was 37, her girls were 11 and her son was 17. Edna's story was complicated, which I guess laid the foundation for what became of her family in 2008. Edna's mother was on drugs and alcohol, and was confined to a wheelchair. Her father went to prision when she was young for manslaughter. Edna's mother re-married a man who then fathered 2 of Edna's sisters and how was said to be abusive to his step-children. Edna was raised on welfare, her mother got it, her 3 sisters were on it and her brother was in a half way house after committing a crime. All of Edna's siblings were on drugs or alcohol or both. Only one ever got their GED - Edna. All of Edna's sisters had children, and they continued down the same path as their mother's had, and grandmother had.
Edna first got pregnant at 18, by a married man. She went into labor, and the father showed up at the hospital, but soon after Tu was born, the father abandoned both mother and son. Edna dropped out of school & raised her son by herself with the help of welfare. Several years later, Edna became pregnant again by a different man. Upon laboring, her daughter was stillborn. Edna never fully recovered after that - she could still vividly remember the nurse taking her daughter away and informing her that she was stillborn. Edna said she never got to see her and that her step-father told staff to take the baby away. The last 2 children, twin girls, Edna had with Mike, a man who was weathered by drug and alcohol addiction. Once again, Edna gave birth to the girls, and shortly after Mike too abandoned them and welfare was the only constant in their life.
So back to when I first met Edna 4 years ago. She had just rented an apartment in a building I recently purchased, and I was getting to know her and her family. There was constant strife: Tu wouldn't take his medicine for cerebal palsy and ADHD and once tried to start a fire in the basement. Edna was constantly yelling at him, telling him he was stupid and kicking him out of the house. Tu would live on the streets or crash at a friend's house, and in some cases sold his body to get money for food. Tu got SSI and unfortunately, he contributed the the family finances - his mother was his payee and would spend his check how she saw fit. So, every time Tu came back, Edna would let him back in because he brought $423 into the family pocketbook on top of the $687 she already got for welfare. While Tu was the unwanted child, the twin girls were treated much differently. While Tu was skin and bones ( He used to beg for food) , the twin girls were morbidly obese. Compound that with one of the girls having such severe asthma that she missed school more than half of the year, every year. Now, Edna didn't work and one would think that she would take the time to ensure that her kids took their medicine properly, but that wasn't the case. Edna herself suffered from anxiety and wouldn't take her medicine either. She missed doctor's appointments for both herself and her children - instead preferring to stay inside and smoke or watch TV. Her kids would roam the neighborhood, and Edna would remain in her own little world. Neighbors began to complain that Edna was letting her kids get into trouble and that she wasn't watching them. I also had numerous complaints about Edna's tendency to scream and get into physical fights with her son and boyfriends. On one such occassion, her boyfriend Tyrone was high on drugs, took a knife and lunged at Edna in front of her kids. When he was unsuccessful at stabbing her, he beat her viciously on the face. Edna was treated and her kids lived in fear. That was when we decided it was time to move her to another apartment at a different address so Tyrone could no longer harm Edna.
I came with my trailer and allowed Edna and family to load their possessions for their new apartment. The kids did most of the work while Edna smoked on the porch. Finally, the family moved in & life was going to take yet another turn. I came to find out that the twin's biological father Mike lived around the corner. He would come over and argue with Edna and attempt to take the girls away from her. Ishia's asthma got dramatically worse, and she was being carted off in an ambulance every couple weeks to children's hospital. Edna was told to stop smoking around the girls and told to start them on a healthier diet - Ishia had to lose some weight. They also sent someone to Edna's home to demonstrate how to use Ishia's medicines. After some time at the new apartment, Edna still hadn't changed her ways, and Ishia was still being taken to Children's on a regular basis via ambulance. Children's filed a complaint with CPS & Ishia was taken away and put in foster care. CPS determined that her father Mike was not a suitable guaridian. So, Ishia was put into a foster home and was beginning to respond well to her medicine, was back in school and seemed to be doing well. Edna couldn't stand that her child was removed from her care. Her welfare check was cut in addition to her food stamps and she was angry. She told me she hated that Ishia liked her new home and that the foster mother had purchased some new clothes for Ishia. Edna thought Ishia liked her new "family" because they had money that Edna didn't. Edna would visit Ishia, and fights with both her daughter and the foster mother would ensue. Edna would guilt Ishia (per sister Crystal), and would make fun of her for selling out. Eventually, Ishia started to break down and said she wanted to come home. Edna went to court, ready to take her daughter back. Over many months, Edna finally won and a judge granted Edna custody of Ishia.
Stupid, liberal judge. Anyhow, Edna's welfare check went back up to $687 and her food stamps increased by $50 a month. She was home from school again and live had resumed where she left off. Soon after, Ishia was back to Children's hospital, not being able to breathe. Now, mind you, Edna just got her daughter back and her daughter is once again struggling with asthma under her mother's care but was fine while in the foster home. I have always wondered if Edna suffered from Munchausen by Proxy, because everytime Ishia was taken to the hospital, Edna would make a huge deal out of it when Ishia's asthma would be easily remedied with a nebulizer. Edna would call up family and friends to tell them how bad she had it when, in fact, Ishia was never hospitalized from an asthma attack. So, that brings me to Ishia's last day with Edna. This is why I say stupid, liberal judge. It is not always the best interest of the children to be in their biological parent(s) custody - TRUST ME. So, on this day, I had a plumber at Edna's house fixing her toilet. I was at work, when my cell phone rang, I picked up and heard Edna's trembling voice. "Ishia's dead" was all she said. I pulled my car over to absorb what she was telling me. I asked how it happened, Edna explained what occurred and we hung up after I expressed my sorrow over her loss. The strangest thing that Edna said during our conversation was that Ishia was tired of living with ashtma and wanted to die. I was sick. I knew this girl - I knew she didn't want to die. Next call was from my plumber. He told me he left the house after Ishia was dead - and told me a conflicting story of what happened. He was distraught that Edna failed to call 911 when her daughter was crying that she couldn't breathe. He said Enda never administered any medication and waiting until Ishia was on the floor, with fluids leaking from her nose and mouth, to call 911. By the time Ishia was on the floor, a CMA who lived downstairs had come upstairs to administer CPR. Ishia was not reponsive. Months later, the CMA would tell me too that Edna waited until Ishia was dead to call 911 and that ishia didn't have to die. The police came, and launched an investigation, and eventually determined there was no foul play because no one who was interviewed would snitch. To this day, Edna maintains that Ishia wanted to die.
So, that leads me back to the welfare argument. Welfare enabled Edna to stay at home and neglect her children. Her child died because Edna had every resource availble at the expense of taxpayers, and still didn't use them. I went to Ishia's funeral & paid my respects. Another child lost to an inept mother in the welfare system, where there is no accountability. Ishia paid with her life & how many other kids have to pay the same before the community stands up and says no more?
