The other night, in the middle of the night, I had an epiphany; this isn't exactly just my own thought(s,) as I've definitely read other midwives who say the same or similar things, but I realized that by doing so many C-sections on moms and babies for reasons such as "failure to progress", we are robbing parents the time they need to become parents and to work through emotional stuff they need to work through before the baby arrives.
It used to be, or at least I assume it used to be, I have no way to really know, since I've only lived now, and I'm not that old, that during the nine months of pregnancy, a woman and her partner, friends, family, whoever was around her, would prepare themselves for the birth of the new baby. They would prepare mentally, by thinking about the other children in their villages, tribe, etc, and how the other parents they knew parented those children and what worked and what didn't and how, then, they would parent their child coming into the world. They would prepare physically, maybe whittling a baby cradle, knitting warm baby clothes, making cloth diapers, sewing little tiny baby moccasins. They would prepare spiritually as well, working out their own issues, from childhood and beyond, meditating on the baby, praying for a safe and healthy birth, praying for the baby in the womb. They would do rituals to welcome the baby; maybe grandmother would make special strengthening foods right before the birth for the mom, both mom and dad would be coached by older members of the culture about what their new roles as parents would be.
It seems to me, without a whole lot of time for preparation; sure, we have baby showers and we rush from Target to Wal-mart to Baby Gap, buying things for the new baby, we rush to Lamaze classes after work, we rush to read Birthing From Within or whatever the trendiest birthing book is of the moment, but we don't really prepare for the birth of a baby, we consume lots of things in "preparation" for the baby, but we never really take the moments needed to prepare; we don't take that time to try to fix old issues from our childhoods, we don't talk with grandmother about her experiences raising children, we don't talk with our partners about his trauma from the past, or whatever it is that needs to be dealt with before the birth of this child. Because of that, it seems natural to me that we have a lot of "failure to progress" in modern labors, for if you don't prepare yourself mentally, spiritually and emotionally for birth before you go into labor, you have to work through stuff while in labor, and these issues will hold your birth up, ideally, until you do deal with these issues.
Unfortunately, in modern hospitals, we have no patience for processing spiritual and emotional issues; we see the body as a machine, and if it isn't working "efficiently" we C-section the woman. We don't sit her down (as many midwives do,) and talk with her and ask her why her birth is being held up, we don't dig deeper with her and try to find the emotional barriers, instead, we just rush her off to surgery. I've seen a few women who have taken three days to labor before finally giving birth. The common denominator in all the three day labors I've been to have been family drama; in all three cases, either mom or dad or both didn't feel exactly ready to parent; because of this, baby didn't come. In two of those cases, mom and dad began working through their issues, they grew closer as the days passed, eventually, they felt close enough and had apparently worked on enough problems, and out the baby came. In one of those births I attended, mom left the chaos at home (she had been planning a home birth, but after three days decided against it,) and went to the hospital and as soon as she got to the hospital where it was quite and peaceful, out came baby. I don't think the modern medical system looks at birth like that; actually no, I take that back, I know for a fact they don't look at it like that, since they've got time-limits for different stages of labor. I believe if we gave women and men and families the time they need to process things, birth may be a bit longer, but it would also work.
Love ya,
CArrot
I know exactly what you mean about total preparation. I never thought about that it terms of the process of labor though, very interesting.
Do you think this may have something to do with why subsequent births are usually shorter and easier than the one before?
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I hadn't thought about the subsequent birth thing, but that sort of makes sense. I mean, obviously, some of the reason that subsequent births are usually shorter is because the tissue has already stretched once, the body "knows" how to give birth, the uterus is more effective, etc. But there is probably definitely an emotional or spiritual level to that as well, this person has already begun parenting one child, sort of "knows the ropes" and feels confident that she can parent another child. Or, at least ideally that is how it would go. Maybe people who have longer subsequent births are not enjoying parenting that first kid and feel hesitant about adding another kid to the family.
I have to do a research project during my time at school; I think I'm gonna research how emotionally ready to be parents people feel and how their births go...I think my hypothesis is a good one.
Love ya,
Carrot
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Carrot, your explanation about subsequent birth fits with my experiences with cattle.
Young heifers having their first calf often have a tough time and a lot more of them would die without human assistance. Older cows can almost always manage birth on their own and some of them don't even bother to lay down for labor. They break water and squeeze out a calf all in one smooth motion.
Interestingly, I don't think the heifers who do have trouble and long periods in labor are working through emotional problems and reservations about giving birth. I frankly don't think they have a clue what is happening to them and if they are having any sort of emotional response it is instinctual fear. Who is to say what goes on in a cows mind but their emotional capabilities seem to be pretty limited yet they have long labors sometimes just like humans. It makes me think that a long labor is more of a physical then a mental condition.
I frankly am somewhat concerned about the practical consequences of your epiphany. Labor seems to be the WRONG time to be working though these emotional issues. If the parent has not adequately prepared emotionally BEFORE labor then perhaps they need some counseling AFTER labor. I've heard many reluctant parents say all these issues melt away when they first take their newborn in their arms. Childbirth is dangerous and it does not seem right to extend the process and leave somebody in an exceedingly exhausting condition for 3 days for spiritual reasons. 24 hours of labor maybe. 72 sounds a lot like malpractice and recklessness.
Your observations are definitely valid, and I believe that carrot did address the fact that a mother who has already given birth will have an easier time the second, and subsequent times around because her body has a sort of "muscle memory." I was aware of that when I posted my question as well, but still thought that carrot's hypothesis is relevant.
For myself, I absolutely felt a spiritual conflict occurring during the birth of my daughter. In fact, i felt it from the beginning. I know now that I was in fact pregnant with twins and miscarried one of them early in the pregnancy. At the time I thought that I had just had a miscarriage, i did not know there was another baby that would survive. At that time I sought spiritual counsel. I was terrified of having a child because of all the crap I went through as a child.
When I first thought I might be pregnant, I went to a spiritual adviser. he told me "It feels like there is something there, but it is not the right time. There is a lot of negativity in terms of spiritual DNA. I feel a strong female presence, but there is also a strong male presence."
I realized later that I had miscarried, and was still pregnant. The doctors told me my baby would be born with hydrocephaly, and that I should abort. I knew that this was not an option for me. The whole pregnancy was filled with a lot of anxiety, but also with a certain sense of peace. I knew in my core that this baby was meant to be, and that she was special. She was born free of the disabilities the doctors expected.
However, my labor was intense and prolonged. I was in "back labor" for 2 weeks prior to going to the hospital. That means she was "sunny side up," facing outward, and her spine was compressing mine. Prior to that, I spent 3 days in agony while she was sitting up, instead of facing downward, trying to turn her. The first ultrasound showed her sitting up, meaning her bottom was closest to my cervix instead of her head.
Instinctively I knew that this was a problem, and I spent 2 weeks doing head stands as much as possible in effort to turn her. Her position caused me so much discomfort, I could not sleep, or sit comfortably in any position. I knew that sometimes doctors or nurses will attempt to manually turn the baby by manipulating the uterus from the exterior, but that this was also very painful. So I kept standing on my head, and one day I felt her turn. It was excruciating, but it worked.
After 2 weeks of back labor, and being totally unable to keep down any food or fluid due to extreme acid reflux, i went to the hospital. They found me dehydrated and pumped me with fluids. The monitor showed that I was in active labor, but because of the position of the baby, I wasn't feeling the contractions. Instead I had constant dull pain in my back. I went to my OB and she "stripped the membrane" to induce labor. That was awful. I had it done again a week later.
When I went in for real, they induced labor with pitocin, and manually broke my water. This was because I was in so much discomfort, I could not endure days and days of more back labor. It took 24 hours for her to be born. For the rest of the story, you can read my blog http://progressiveu.org/blog/50947-birth-my-papaya
To make that story short, my baby aspirated meconium, and spent 3 days in NICU. She had a feeding tube put down her nose because she was so weak. When I got her home she was too lethargic to breastfeed. In the hospital they thought she had meningitis because her WBCs spiked so high, so they gave her a spinal tap (a very painful procedure that I have also endured). I hemorrhaged, most likely because a placenta doubled in size (the placenta of the miscarried twin converged with hers) was ripped away from my uterus very violently. If not for modern medicine, both my daughter and I would not have survived.
The point is that I know and did know from the beginning that I had serious conflicts around having a child. I never expected or imagined myself in that position. I know in my core that things would have been easier had I taken more precautions, such as doing Yoga throughout the pregnancy. At the same time, I was accepting of the process, knowing it would be difficult.
When I did get my baby home, and put her in her crib the first time, I had a strange experience where I felt like I was transported to my own infanthood. I felt like I was standing in my mother's shoes, and was looking at myself in that crib. That was such a strange and overwhelming feeling. My mother was (is) not a good mother.
I attribute the difficulties of my situation to serious emotional and spiritual conflicts within myself that made me very resistant to the idea of being a mother. I thank God that all is well now, but whenever I think of what happened, I cannot stop myself from considering my own emotional and spiritual fragility at the time.
In regards to your statement that labor is not the best time to go delving into deep personal issues, i can see your point for sure. At the same time, had someone been there for me challenging me on the subject, I do believe I would have responded well, and that I probably would have had a better experience. At the same time, I am pretty self aware, and I did the best I could. I knew exactly what was happening in my core being. I made a choice to go ahead in spite of my fears, at the same time rejecting therapy from those who offered it. It was a rite of passage where I would finally become one with my own mother.
Had someone like carrot been present, who could understand all of these nuances and subtleties, and communicate them to me, I believe that the outcome could have been different.
Skeptics who read this and want to dismiss these feelings are free to do so. I am simply sharing what I experienced, and that my experience is what inclines me to support carrot both in her studies, and in her research.
Cows are cows, and humans are humans. Some things are similar. Humans are, however, far more complex than cows.
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I know this was a tough time for you with fear, anxiety and confusion and all but the thought of you standing on your head pregnant...alot, struck me as ridiculous and hilarious.
the question that keeps running through my mind is: Did the really tell you to do that or was that a silly thing to do out of despiration ...ir what?
Always, turtlesuds, thank you for sharing...you are awesome
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
I remembered from nursing school that sometimes the baby can physically be turned by manipulating the outside of the stomach.
I don't know why, but it just made sense to me to do that. It just felt right, partially because I was totally uncomfortable in any other position. i remember that time so well. It was during the Olympics, and my husband was obsessed with watching curling. So he would watch that while I stood on my head (I kept myself up by using the wall for balance). It worked. When she did turn Kelly saw her legs sweeping up my stomach, it was really amazing.
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We just learned about breech babies and a variety of ways to turn them; one way is by having the mother stand on her head. The gravity combined with the overly large head of the newborn, brings them down...normally, this is why they get into a head down position with the mother upright, but sometimes those term breech babies need a little extra encouragement!
What you learned about in nursing school is called an external version; it is a manipulation that can be done on the outside of the mom's belly and can be very successful in moving the baby.
Love ya,
Carrot
that she was at a funny angle, almost perpendicular to my pelvis, so it was very awkward and uncomfortable. It made sense to me that by being inverted the weight of her head would pull her down, which it did.
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Once again, your story is insightful and a great learning experience for me! We just learned about twins today, and what happens when one twin dies and the other remains in the womb and continues to grow, so your story has great significance for me today.
As for your comments Jack, sure the ideal time to work through problems is before the woman goes into labor, as nobody wants to experience a three day birth; not the mom, not the midwife, not the family. But despite all the hour-long prenatal visits midwives go through with their clients, and all the emotional problems worked through ahead of time, I can tell you, things still come up during labor (and maybe they do for cow moms too, how do we know for sure cows don't experience emotions?)
Long births aren't especially dangerous, as long as you keep checking the vital signs of mother and baby, keep mom eating and drinking, encourage her to sleep between contractions, or, if it is a stop-n-start labor, to sleep when the labor temporarily stops. Part of the motto of biodynamic birth, which is what we are learning, is to leave things alone, as long as mom and baby are physically doing fine; so that is what we are constantly monitoring and checking in about. Meanwhile, midwives do try to find out what is up for the mom and why things are taking their sweet time.
Today during the birth stories part of our class, this very thing came up. Liz was telling about a birth she attended where things just sorta dragged on and the labor kept starting and stopping, and one of the first things my classmates wanted to know was whether the mom had been sexually abused or had some other emotional trauma that was holding up the birth. Liz didn't think it was a history of sexual abuse, but she thought the mother, despite being in her thirties, was kept infantile by an over-involved extended family who made all of her decisions for her. I thought this was a very insightful thing to observe; these are exactly the sorts of things we might have to help moms work through during their labors and births.
Love ya,
Carrot
I got to finally watch "The Business of Being Born," I really enjoyed it. Watching the mom give birth while standing in a pool of warm water was awesome, the baby just slid out so easy. She didn't even look like she was in pain.
One thing that really occurred to me while watching it, that I hadn't thought of before, was that pitocin not only stimulates contractions, but actually makes them much stronger, and more painful, which means that an epidural will most likely be needed. I am convinced now that my experience would not have been as traumatic had I not been induced. God knows when that baby would have come out on her own though :) even with induction, i was in active labor for 24 hours. Technically, I was in labor for 2 weeks prior, what someone had once referred to as "pre-labor" where I was having contractions and was about 2cm dilated.
Who knows, it is hard to say, but I am inclined to think that nature knows best. What is definitely clear is that once medical interventions began, it starts a process that cannot be reversed.
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This makes a lot of sense. I never thought of C-section babies as being the result of psychological or emotional issues going on in the mother, but as with any medical thing, it still should be considered. I guess I always assumed C-sections were because the baby couldn't come out naturally and that a C-section was needed to save the baby's life.
Well, you know what they say about "assuming" now don't you? :)
are one of those things that the medical community loves to bounce back and forth on. There tend to be waves where they are done are more or less frequently. Currently, they are being favored by paranoid medical providers who are afraid of being sued. A C-section can almost always be safely executed with fewer immediate emergency complications. However, the long term negative consequences are significant.
For awhile they were done more frequently because they are more expensive, which translates to bigger checks for doctors and hospitals. Then insurance companies caught on and started investigating each case.
For a long time VBACs (vaginal births after C-section) were almost never performed. Once a woman had one C-section, she was stuck having to have C-sections for every subsequent birth. Once the bikini incision, which is transverse instead of perpendicular to the pubis, became the preferred approach, VBACs became more popular. Recently, say within the last 5 years or so, there has been a return to the overcautious increase in C-sections and VBACs are being discouraged again.
this reflects a general apprehension of the medical community which is less willing to take risks. They would rather perform a C-section unnecessarily than to risk severe complications from a vaginal delivery gone wrong. Many injuries sustained by mother or baby during vaginal delivery are directly related to "slip ups" by the doctor during delivery. This includes things like shoulder dystocia, as well as head injuries sustained by babies due to poor handling of devices like forceps by the doctor.
What happens is every so often the medical community starts to feel pressure (usually from insurance companies) to lower costs, and this is translated to a preference for more "natural" methods.
C-sections are not always the wrong choice though, and it is good we have the option. my friend labored for 3 days with no progression of the movement of the baby. She was dilated and effaced, and contractions were strong, but the baby just would not descend the birth canal. Finally, it was determined that the baby was in a position where he had his chin tucked in to his chest, so essentially each contraction caused the back of his neck and skull to slam against the pelvis. There was nothing wrong with mom, or the progression of labor, but that baby was not going to uncurl himself, and each contraction was actually hurting him. A C-section was the only option. My friend was so sad because she was really prepared for vaginal birth. I don't know if her situation was like what carrot described here, I know my friend was ready to be a mom. Dad might not have been so sure. Overall, everyone is happy and healthy now.
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The chin to the chest. That is so the widest diameter of the occuput (back of the baby's skull,) passes through the cervix and vaginal canal first.
I'm not disputing what you are saying turtlesuds; I'm sure the baby was in an awkward position for birth, but I wanted readers to be clear that babies almost always "tuck in" for birth; they put their chins to their chests, pull in their arms and legs, they fold up even more then they already where at the end of pregnancy; the smallest they can make themselves, the better.
Thanks for that lengthy explanation of C-section as a trend; it is true that insurance companies are the largest influence upon how birth is preformed...which is why many consumers have decided to stay away from the hospital altogether and either give birth at home or in a birth center, to avoid being dictated to by the whims of the insurance company.
Love ya,
Carrot
I think the problem was the angle the baby was at, but I can't say for sure, because I am just sharing what she shared. From the way she explained it, I got the impression that the presenting part of the baby was his upper back, rather than his head.
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I'm all for supporting unmedicated births. The process is important and hospitals don't respect that.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
I don't like the current trend of c-sections for birth (one of the nurses in the nursery remarked the other day that out of the 13 women who had given birth in the past few days, 11 of them were by c-section), and I think your hypothesis is interesting.
I'm not sold on the idea of home births, though. So many things could go wrong, and precious time is lost if the mother and her baby aren't already in the hospital.
~C
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