I am a first generation college student. My mother started college, but dropped out because she was "driving the toilet" when she got pregnant with me. My father has been working in the industrial park for two decades. My older brother dropped out of college. I have a lot riding on my shoulders, but I like to think it's a task I can handle.
I get my inspiration from people that matter the most to me. While my father may not be the most financially stable, he works hard for everything he has, and will give anything up to make me happy or be a good influence on me. Even though my mother up until recently (she and my stepfather recently became dislocated workers) has always had more money, my father is the one who has tried to make me see how important college is. He is single handedly paying my way through college, even though he has my stepmom and her two children to provide for. I can never repay him for everything he has done to ensure I have the best of everything and live a happy and wholesome life, but the reason that I want to be successful in my college career is not for my own purposes, but to make him proud and repay him and so much more for everything he has done for me. My grandmother dropped out of high school when she got married, and four kids later, got her GED and got a degree to become an accountant. Same story: hard worker, selfless soul. She and my father are my inspiration.
Despite my longing to do well and make them proud, college is much more difficult that I could have imagined. I have little time for friends, I'm just now getting used to managing my study time in order to keep my grades up, and haven't been able to secure a job. It's hard coming from a small town where you're hot stuff and being thrown into an academically challenging atmosphere where you're on your own and you actually have to work for it. I believe I can do it though. I refuse to give up. I can't let myself fail. I want this for more reasons than myself. I want this for my father, to show him his efforts were not wasted and to accomplish the life he so desperately wants for me. I want this for my grandmother, to show her our family is something special. I want this for my older brother, to show him there's still time for him. I want this for my mother, to prove to her I can do great things and really make a difference. I want this for my baby brother, to show him our family has it in us, and to show him it's within his reach. I want this for my future children, to give them the best I can provide. I don't think I am the first person to write something similar to this, but I hope someone will read this and maybe feel a little more initiative to do what they know they can.
It won't be easy, and no one ever said it would. But it's there, waiting for you to take it. I hope I can accomplish everything I've dreamed of and repay my father for all the things he has done for me, financially and inspirationally.
Thank you for reading...
Miss Alicia
