A birth with a little empowerment in a bad situation!

I'm madly in love with the world again today! Part of this is no doubt that I'm at a "manic" part of my natural cycles, but also because, Wed. night, I got to labor sit with one of the girls at the shelter I work at, and I learned some incredible lessons from her.

Lesson #1: Even in the most adverse of situations, we get to choose how we experience life. She had decided that she was going to have an empowered, strong, natural birth, despite being a teenager, living in a shelter and having to give birth in a hospital without any friends or family there, because they are all far away from the shelter she is living at. I heard her say several times "oh yeah, I'm gonna have a natural birth.." but since all the other girls there seem to have terrible birth experiences, because they don't chose to take control of this aspect of their lives, I just assumed her birth would be the same type of frantic, scary situation I'd heard from many of the other girls who live there. Not so! She proved me wrong by laboring with joy, grace and beauty! And that leads me to the second lesson I learned:

Lesson #2: Don't assume anything! People constantly surprise me; at every turn, I find my assumptions being challenged once again. This birth was one of those situations, where out of what I perceived as hopelessness, a young woman found strength and joy and beauty and just completely amazed me with her calm, her love for her baby and herself, and her power! She laughed and smiled at her contractions; she touched her belly and savored the experience that was unique; I could see that she was excited about this event, rather then being fearful and panicky. A small part of myself felt greatful that I've been teaching her birth is like that; as sensual and joyful as life can be, as well as hard work and pain...

I'm not taking any of the credit for this young ladies' strength, because no doubt she's had strength and faith in herself her entire life, or it wouldn't have shown up in her birth. But I am glad that in the classes I teach, I continuously reinforce the strength of women; instead of undermining any strength they may have, as many birth classes I've attended seem to do. I've been very saddened by birth classes that overemphasize the amount of pain and suffering a woman in labor experiences; instead I try to say things like "everyone experiences labor differently; some feel orgasmic, while others think they are dying.." I think my refusal to buy into the idea that birth has to be a harrowing "curse of Eve," experience helped this girl hold her own confidence, and because of this, she had a short, easy, natural and enjoyable birth!

Lesson #3: Empowerment isn't something we teach, but rather each individual takes for him or herself. I certainly didn't teach this girl to be empowered; she owned her own power in a truly inspiring way. But we can foster an environment that helps people reach their own empowerment, which is what I am trying to do when I teach prenatal classes. This, in turn, is empowering me. I feel like in a small way, I have contributed already to a better world, just by giving the girls this lesson. This girl is going to be a powerful mother; I saw her step into that as she labored. Her child has a fierce (but quite,) she-lion momma....may we continue to teach her about strength, rather then subordination. May we foster a world where love and rage share a bed; where because we love the people/animals/planet we interact with, we step into the power that allows us to defend those we love! I do this in my small way by teaching empowered childbirth, may we all find our places to teach strength.

Love and rage,
Carrot