There is a sign I've seen above kitchen sinks in communal/community or punk houses, which says "First the dishes, then the revolution..." The idea is, if we can't take care of our own community, and each other, how the hell can we start to change the world? "Revolution begins at home," is a similar saying, but I like the first one better.
Lately, I've had so many people bitch to me about things that seem like very basic considerations when trying to build community; such as "so and so never cleans the kitchen up after cooking," "so and so doesn't ever pitch in with basic stuff like olive oil and toilet paper..." "so and so never helps me with my kid.." etc. I want to freak out when I hear these complaints; it seems like so many basic things are being overlooked by so-called revolutionaries.
People drive me crazy; they complain about loneliness, lack of community, lack of help with the most basic of human functions/needs; and yet, we concern ourselves with larger world issues such as veal and ending war and ending poverty and homelessness; all worthwhile pursuits to be sure, but at what cost? Should we make things difficult for other members of our communities while marching out to save the world?
In many houses, a pattern seems to take shape; one person becomes "responsible" for a majority of the housekeeping, while all the other members of the house run about all day on various "earth saving" missions; totally missing the point that changing the way we operate, the way we relate to others, the communication patterns we get into, the communities we build, these are the fundamental steps to changing the world. If we can't have a loving, nourishing, rewarding community to lean on during times of change, what will we do? I believe the main reason real change fails to happen is because activists get so rapidly burnt out, precisely because of that lack of community; because we are unwilling to help each other in the very simple ways that all people need help; cooking food for each other, for example, lending an ear when someone clearly needs to talk, watching a kid when someone needs to go out and do something different for a while, washing the dishes, helping someone fix a bike, buying dish soap (or making dish soap if you are opposed to buying stuff,) these are the fundamentals to having a good, cohesive community.
So who are we? Are we really people interested in building community and supporting others in their journeys toward changing things, or are we just a group of scumfucks living in dysfunctional groups together? Isn't the goal to move towards sanity and love and compassion and all those things we didn't get growing up in our weird nuclear families? We can chose to perpetuate chaos and dysfunction and miscommunication and alienation, or we can chose to be gentle with each other, to love each other, to nourish each other, to help others learn and grow, and yes, that starts by DOING YOUR OWN FUCKING DISHES!
Love ya,
Carrot
I seem to be increasingly drawn in by your blogs, which is weird because I don't think we have similar perspectives (or, I don't think we think we have similar perspectives).
I totally agree. I think in America overall we're putting community to the wayside; we don't care about our neighbors or families as much anymore. A lot of people are becoming self-centered. I don't mean that they're bad people, they just literally aren't capable of thinking about others in their communities. Nobody today would think about helping their neighbors raise a barn (or whatever the modern equivalent of that would be).
You threw in a jab about families in there, but I think a healthy community can be anything from a nuclear family, to an extended family, to a kibbutz.
Cosmic, A lot of what Carrot has to say is fairly conservative although she tries to recast it in a radical light.. I'm convinced there is hope for her which is why I bird-dog her on her blogs. She is just a latent conservative and will eventually find her true self. She just needs to be brought back from the darkside.
back from the dark side hu? You think radicals can't dream of a world where people help each other?
I have to admit, much of my republican, conservative upbringing shines through my code of morals/ideals...sometimes I freak my radical friends out by saying things like "I don't really understand people who want to change genders," or "I'm not really into the idea of bondage..kinky sex doesn't really interest me.."
I think I bring a nice, much needed balance to Portland, a place where you have to be as over-the-top as possible, or so many people seem to believe.
I still consider myself a radical however in that I dream of a car-free, community based,
Earth-worshiping world where midwives are the primary health facilitators and much of our current technology has been dismantled...some people would say I'm a post-civilizationist...
Love ya,
Carrot
The whole concept of re-wilding and most of your other ideas about rolling back civilization are deeply conservative. Conservatives like to preserve things and think that what we had in the past was often better than what we have at the present.
In many respects you are more conservative than I am. I kind of like what we have now. You are more of a Pat Buchanon type. He is a fairly arch-typical paleo-conservative who yearns for an earlier time and earlier values.
If you were to be in charge of the revolution, after the bulk of the world's population got done starving to death, the world would end up as a society that I could probably be satisfied with.
The dismantling stuff is not so conserverative though.
I guess you are kinda right Jack; by longing for a return to a more "primitive" lifestyle, I am a radical, because most people wouldn't take it that far...but a conservative radical.
Lately I've been reading a lot of different definitions of different types of Primitivists and what they long for; I've come to understand that I do actually enjoy some technologies, or I might say, appropriate use of technology; for example, I have nothing against life-saving antibiotics or using IV fluids to help a mom who has hemorrhaged.
Cars however, seem like an inappropriate use of our technology; especially cars driving around carrying one person somewhere; what a massive waste! Much of our pavement, dams, large buildings, etc need to disappear in my option.
But the question becomes, how do we do that in a way that doesn't destroy a lot of life? How to move towards a sustainable lifestyle (truly sustainable, verses "greenwashed" sustainability,) causing the least amount of harm?
I think tomorrow I'm gonna write a post about medical technology and how much of that I believe we should keep and do away with...
All of this is purely speculation on my part; I don't have the facts and figures I need to really know what would make a sustainable world...
Love ya,
Carrot