So more and more as I move into this world of midwifery, my life becomes framed in, and surrounded by, the feminine. Not only am I primarily around women from dawn to dusk, but symbolically and figuratively as well. I joke that sometimes I forget men exist; well, this is actually sort of close to the truth. I guess what I forget is how to interact with men sometimes; I spend so much of my time in this world of divine femininity; between midwifery school, teaching prenatal classes, working at the shelter for pregnant teens and being part of a Woman's Health Collective the only males I regularly come into contact with are the ones I live with. I'm not complaining in the least; embracing and reveling in all the holy that makes us female is a beautiful thing; and as I read more about our womb-creative powers, about Innana, the ancient mother of the blood mysteries, my own self-esteem and worth as a woman grows.
But sometimes, I long for the masculine in my life as well, which is perhaps why I'm attracted to such "masculine" activities as tanning hides and archery. And, of course, I chose lately to take male-bodied lovers, although I am extremely attracted to females (how could anyone not be?,) just so that sometimes I'll have a bit of a balance...
I saw a wonderful thing on my train ride to school today; a Native mother with a baby in a traditional cradleboard. I began to think about the implications of being strapped, upright, after the last few months in the womb, head-down. What, I wondered, does the cradleboard teach this baby about the world that laying flat on his back in a stroller would not? I remembered reading about this, as a little girl, in probably a National Geographic or some anthropology text. I read about how Native women believe the cradleboard is important to the baby's development, because being upright and with eye level with the rest of his or her people, from that early age, teaches him or her about equality. They learn that they are as important as any other member of the tribe; important enough for his mom to carry him about upon her back so that he can experience and see the world as she lives her life. Similar to being carried in a sling, but perhaps even more engaging, in that the baby is always eye-level with his tribes mates, swaddled tightly in order to feel the secure, comfortable feeling that feels similar to the womb to him, allowing him to interact with the world with peace and serenity, rather then grumpily. I am so glad this old practice is being revived among some modern Native women; as I watched the babe sleeping peacefully in his cradleboard, I thought to myself "there is a boy who will grow up to be a man of stability, love and compassion."
I also saw the movie Twilight this week; I have to say, I was appalled by the absolute message of chastity and the uncontrollable desire of men to "eat up and devour" desirous women. I came to understand, through that movie, that the underlying theme of all vampire tales seems to be thus; women are dirty, seductive sluts, men have no ability to control their "cravings," and so women must be blamed when they happen to get "bitten." What a depressing and appalling message to send to our young girls, who are some enamored with this movie right now! As an adult, and especially a feminist adult who is able to see the not-so-subtle messages of this movie, I was able to laugh through it. But I was acutely aware of the messages it would send to girls; which are, 1) it is up to them to preserve their chastity, as men are overpowered by lust 2) women are by nature big sluts who seek out the most dangerous and vampriseque men to "bite" them 3) women should flirt with and tease these lusty, blood-driven men, but never, ever allow themselves to be "bitten."
Love ya,
Carrot
Firstly, I now know what the term is for that baby-on-the-back contraption: cradleboard. Where do you live? I'm just curious because you say "Native Women" and such.
And secondly, I haven't read or seen Twilight, but from what I've heard I thought it would be a good thing to show a vampire story that isn't all sex. Then again, I haven't seen it, so I can't exactly make an educated statement on how it affects anyone right now.
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I need some more input from y'all here in this forum topic: A ProgressiveU Radio Show/Podcast
I think this is an idea that can improve the ProgressiveU community.
I live in Portland OR. hen I say "Native," I am referring to a person of Native American heritage.
I do the best I can to sho cultural sensitivity in my blogs; if anyone feels that they don't, please let me kno.
(I'm missing a certain key on this keyboard; I bet you can't guess hich one...)
Love ya,
Carrot
Okay, Carrot, that certainly makes sense. I probably should have thought of that.
I think "Native American" is technically the politically correct term, but I don't think we all need to be overly politically correct. Like in this case, it's acceptable to call Native Americans "Indians". I just read a book called "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" which is based on the author's life and he said Indian...in fact, everyone said Indian. That doesn't mean I have a problem with the term "Native American". I just think it's a little stuffy.
You're missing the "W" key? Aw, sorry, Carrot. :) At least it wasn't like an "A" or something...
*~*~*~*~
I need some more input from y'all here in this forum topic: A ProgressiveU Radio Show/Podcast
I think this is an idea that can improve the ProgressiveU community.
I can't speak for other places, but where I live, we have both Native Americans and Indian immigrants/descendants (from India). Calling them both "Indian" just doesn't work too well.
While it may be "politically correct" to call a person a "Native American" in some places, I don't think it's necessarily the case everywhere. Context and location are key.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
I first saw a cradleboard at the Eiteljorg Museum in Indianapolis, IN. I thought they were pretty cool as well. I enjoyed seeing these antiques from all over the country and observing the differences of the regions. Many from the southwest had large woven hoods to protect the babes from the sun. Others from the midwest had thick insulation with elaborate patterns. Some even had a metal part that went across the board with bells or trinkets on them for the babes to grab at/ play with. FORGET FISHER PRICE!!! I really enjoyed them.
Then I was surprised to see miniature ones that were actually made for little one's dolls! I thought it was cool, but the "impracticality" of them made an impression. (Where they intended to teach little females how to take care of babes?) Like the regular ones, they used leather, wool, reed, fabric ... and I thought "wow those materials could have gone to something practical" Perhaps there was no lack of those materials in that particular tribe. I dont have an answer it just struck me.
I also think about how many African women strap their babes on their backs with fabric and this supposedly creates a deep bond as the child constantly listens to its mother's heartbeat. I wonder if the wood plank hinders the same thing with the Natives?
Twilight: I didn't know anything about this graphic novel/story, but I was looking forward to seeing it because I love vampire stories in general and because I heard people were camping out to see it. I was disappointed. It was simply a teenage "love" story. Mainly I took from the movie that the main male character (I dont remember any of the character's names) had immense strength to resist sucking the blood of that chick he wanted. I thought that was good. I figure is more teens could resist each other that would be a plus. (Though the girl wanted romance and the guy wanted to suck her blood...)
I didn't take this from the movie, but in society it is held to be true that "it is up to them [females] to preserve their chastity, as men are overpowered by lust". In part, women are punished because men have creation-envy.
I don't think the cradleboard would be considered useless in that culture though. Think about it. A mother could always have her baby with her but still have her hands free to do work with.
And Twilight started as a book. I don't know if it's also a graphic novel (I'd believe that), but it started life as a regular old novel.
*~*~*~*~
I need some more input from y'all here in this forum topic: A ProgressiveU Radio Show/Podcast
I think this is an idea that can improve the ProgressiveU community.
That's really neat about the craddleboard tradition. :)
As for Twilight, I haven't read the book or seen the movie myself, but it was a major topic amongst my highschool/college homeschooled (or formerly homeschooled) Catholic friends for a while. A lot of my girlfriends love it and are totally all over it and I'm like ew. I've never liked vampires, so the whole idea of having a vampire boyfriend is really creepy. But from all the Catholic movie reviews I've read, the reviewers have said that it doesn't promote chastity, but lust. A lot of people have had some major biffs with the obsessiveness of Edward (or Edmund...I can't remember which)'s love for the girl. Creeeeeeeepy, in my opinion...
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I'm so glad that someone besides me finds it creepy that he sneaks into her room at night to watch her sleep and she doesn't know about it. And yes, I do think that Bella and Edward get too obsessed with each other. In fact, in New Moon, she becomes really depressed when he leaves. I've only read the book and haven't seen the movie, but I'm not a big fan. Although, from what comes through in the books, I think, Carrot, that either the movie is very far removed from the book, or you are noticing something that was not meant to be there. Of course, like I said, I haven't seen the movie so I can't really judge.
Also, Pat Robinson or whatever his name is isn't that much of a looker. And the description of his hands, with the slim fingers creeps me out. But that might just be me.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
I heard that the movie was more sexual than the books, but *shrug* IDK.
Is he the one who plays Edward? Cause yeah, I totally don't how everyone's thinking he's to die for. *gag*
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
Actually, I mixed the name up. Its Robert Pattinson. Sorry.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
I liked all the different perceptions of hat T ilight implies/teaches. Really? Some people thought Ed ard loved her too much/ as too obsessive? That asn't hat primarily struck me about the movie, but I can see that.a
Love ya,
Carrot
Well, again, I haven't seen the movie/read the book, so I can't point out examples except from what I've heard from the many people who have seen the movie/read the book.
One example, though, is that he follows her around because he "loves" her. He even gets into her ROOM somehow...? To me, that's just creepy...not to mention he's a vampire, which (to me personally), is creepy...ugh, I never liked vampires...
But anyway, my point in bringing that up was that you were talking about the chastity message and a lot of Catholic homeschoolers push for chastity, but those who I've seen who care about the chastity message haven't liked it and the rest just don't watch it for the chastity message, but just for the thrills and suspense. *shrug* And then there are all of those of us who don't watch it because their parents have gotten the whole "ooh, it's a bad movie." (and I just don't like vampires...oh wait, I've said that multiple times already. :P)
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
watching her sleep, which is pretty creepy, to say the least. And he does follow her around because he "loves" her, which is also creepy, but since she's hanging around with vampires, she ends up needing his protection, so in the end, it is a good thing he's following her around.
I think it is way more creepy however how women and men and sexuality is portrayed; there is definitely this slant like "women are sluts, men are unable to control their desires in the face of these slutty women; in fact, once they give into temptation, they will devour their women..."
Yuck!
Love ya,
Carrot
Well, to a certain extent, I do believe that women should dress with dignity and self-respect and thus not dress like sluts. In addition, men are turned on by the sight of the intimate parts of a woman's body, and thus if she's dressing in a way that is enhancing those parts, it is difficult for a man to control the lustful thoughts in his mind. In addition, I totally agree that it's ultimately up to the guy to control his thoughts, however, I do believe that the woman is partially responsible for causing those faults. So it's not a total one-way thing as the movie seems to suggest, but they do have a correct basis even if their conclusion is extreme.
Oh, and ditto goes for guys...dudes, WEAR SHIRTS IN PUBLIC because it's either revolting or way too attractive. *cough* And the whole saggy pants thing is just revolting. O:-)
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
in the movie, yet the vampire was almost overcome in his lust for her.
My sister was raped at a party where she threw her shirt off in a fit of passion and then danced in her bra around a fire...does that then put the blame for the rape on her? Didn't the man still choose to put his penis forcefully into her? Should women be blamed for "seducing" men when they are raped?
She told me her rapist said the same thing to her; something about how he "couldn't control himself," because of her brash display of beauty and passion..I still believe a man of integrity would have controlled himself and not raped her.
I'm sorry, how someone does or doesn't dress does NOT, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES give someone an excuse to rape the other person. Lust can be strong, but we must be stronger. For example, I was lying in bed with my lover the other day and I felt as though lust was overpowering me; I wanted him desperately. But because he didn't want sex and because I respect him, I refrained from anything sexual; time and again, I want more sex then he does, but respect of another human is enough to keep me from violating that other person (I have been in a situation where I did violate those sacred bounds, and I think I learned from that.)
Some people say rape is in some sort of tricky gray area; I say bullshit! Rape is doing anything sexual to someone who doesn't want it! If you don't have consent for what you are doing to someone, you are raping them. Now consent can sometimes be unspoken, in cases where lovers have known each other long enough to know what kisses, gropings, etc mean it is ok to proceed to sex, but in cases of strangers or near-strangers, it is ALWAYS better to get spoken consent.
Still, even when I've been with a lover for a very long time, I love it when he or she will ask me for consent for any new activity we do; and even, regularly checking in with me about older activities as well is nice...
Love ya,
Carrot
In cases of rape, it is ultimately the oppressor who is in the wrong because regardless of what's going through his mind, he (or she) should control themselves.
However, in cases where the girl has made obvious showings that she does not respect herself, it does generate the belief that she's already given consent. Thus, in those cases, I'm less inclined to feel pity for the girl than in cases when someone's pulled off the street and raped.
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I think rape may be a separate spectrum in this case. We had a debate in health class a few years back on a similar topic: If a girl is wearing revealing clothing, then is she asking to have sex? When rape was brought up, the moderator of the debate reminded us that rape is more about control than looks or sex drive.
In many cases, the rapist knows the victim. In other words, I think that if someone wants to rape another person, they will commit the rape even if their victim is wearing an outfit crafted out of patatoe sacks. Rapists don't rape because their victim is "sexy" so I think this debate may have gotten a little off topic.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
saying rape is somehow excused or we should have less pity for the girl who was dressed like a "slut" rather then the prudish girl who just happened to get raped walking down a dark alley one night, is like saying everyone on a nude beach is asking to get raped because they are swimming nude, or a woman breastfeeding is "asking for it." Exposing body parts has absolutely nothing to do with rape; people who say that are generally the type of people who have to justify the violence they've done to someone; they are oppressors.
I've been in plenty of co-ed situations where men and women where nude together and there was absolutely no sexual energy or harassment happening. Why? Because these people loved and trusted each other; there was no reason for anyone to make someone else feel uncomfortable by sexually harassing someone else. One of the great joys of life, in my option, is co-ed nude swimming which doesn't involve any sexuality whatsoever. Nudity is one of the delights of a clothes-wearing culture; when we are able to freely express ourselves and disrobe around friends without fear of harassment; when we can play together with penises and labia exposed and everyone feeling comfortable, that is a wonderful, magic thing..
Love ya,
Carrot
Take a closer look: I did not say anything about nudity or rape being excusable. My point is that your debate with respectlife probably belongs in a different place than this discussion. Because like nudity, rape doesn't necesarily have to do with sexuality. If that were the case, there would be far fewer victims of rape who were ugly. I just think that bringing rape into this argument was a red herring.
Like what you've read? Well, then here's more:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tricia0711
have the brain cells to yet consume this blog entry meaning don't have the time or the effort that this nice blog needs, ah, hate when my brain is not working at three or four things at one time
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
http://pakistaniat.com/2008/01/01/heer-ranjha-the-story-of-punjabs-first...
I also saw the movie Twilight this week; I have to say, I was appalled by the absolute message of chastity and the uncontrollable desire of men to "eat up and devour" desirous women. I came to understand, through that movie, that the underlying theme of all vampire tales seems to be thus; women are dirty, seductive sluts, men have no ability to control their "cravings," and so women must be blamed when they happen to get "bitten." What a depressing and appalling message to send to our young girls, who are some enamored with this movie right now! As an adult, and especially a feminist adult who is able to see the not-so-subtle messages of this movie, I was able to laugh through it. But I was acutely aware of the messages it would send to girls; which are, 1) it is up to them to preserve their chastity, as men are overpowered by lust 2) women are by nature big sluts who seek out the most dangerous and vampriseque men to "bite" them 3) women should flirt with and tease these lusty, blood-driven men, but never, ever allow themselves to be "bitten."
I haven't seen the movie yet, partially because I've heard it doesn't do justice to the books (but isn't that almost always the way it goes for books that are turned into movies). I will say that I don't see ANY of this in the books, however, Edward (and the Cullen family) are the EPITOME of self-control. In fact, resisting lust is a predominant theme throughout the books. And, Bella (the female, human main character of the books) is anything BUT a slut. It's not until the third book, really, that she begins to get...overexcited?...by Edward, and even then they both manage to resit the urge in a very intelligent and thoughtful manner. The books illustrate how DIFFICULT it can be to make mature decisions, especially when there is strong emotion involved, but the characters to a pretty good job of controlling themselves all the way around. Your third observation is particularly out-of-sync with the books as well, since Bella is COMPLETELY willing to be bitten by Edward. She's against conventional marriage (and has a very modern view-point on the subject that is a reaction to her mother's ill considered decision to get married and have a kid immediately out of high school), but it's a very realistic one based on modern standards. Edward on the other hand is the traditional one, refusing to do anything that would "compromise" their morality as a couple unless Bella agrees to marry him. I think that part of the appeal of the books is the way that the author presents the very normal conflicts of young relationships against a backdrop of complete fantasy.
TTFN,
Blackout
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I've neither seen the movie nor read the books, so I could be way off base, but it seems to me that the producer of the movie put their own ideals into the movie under the pretense that it would "sell better." So, since the producer has different ideas than the author, the movie comes off way differently than the books.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
Everyone I know that's seen the movie and read the books have all concurred that the movie pushed a sexual theme much more than the books.
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa