Originally, I was going to write on a different topic entirely. But, I was having a difficult time actually figuring out what, exactly, to write. And then, as topics so often do, this one just fell into my lap, begging to be written about.
I went to my little sister's school today. They had a Valentine's Day party in their class. She's still in elementary school, so this consisted of her classmates handing each other candy, cupcakes, cookies, and other treats in honor of Valentine's Day, while they all got a break from schoolwork to watch The Sandlot. But, one girl in her class couldn't participate.
Why? Not because she was diabetic, or couldn't eat the treats. No, simply because her parents said that she couldn't. Because, as my sister put it, she's a different religion, and not allowed to celebrate Valentine's Day.
Now, I could completely understand these sentiments if we were talking about Christmas or Easter, Purim or the Spring Equinox. Something, in essense, that actually has some meaning in different religions. Valentine's Day may have began based on Christian and Roman traditions, but in it's current form, it's not the least bit religious. Some people may make it religious in their own homes, but the vast majority of Americans do not make it religious in any way. It's simply a day to celebrate love and friendship, things that I would think are universal to all mankind.
Not only that, but preventing this girl from participating in her class' party makes her an outcast. She is being forced to miss out on interactions with her classmates. All because her parents don't believe, for whatever reason, in letting kids share some candy. It's one thing if the girl made this decision on her own, but she was afraid she'd get in trouble by just staying in the classroom during the party.
I truly don't understand what objection someone could have to Valentine's Day. At least, on a religious scale... I can completely understand objecting to the overpowering commercialism of the holiday. Which is what I object to.
And that is all I have to say.
That is just mean. Now that little girl is going to hate her family's religion because she missed out on a lot of fun. She may never wish to accept that religion and may force herself to become an outcast from her own family. Years of anger started from this moment in time and that little girl may never make that connection or I could be completely wrong.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
I know those of the Jehovah's Witness religion (and sorry if I spelled anything wrong there) can't celebrate even some of the most modern and commercialized holidays, like Halloween.
Really, I don't see why this girl's parents couldn't allow her to join in the fun. What harm could there be? Unless she's morbidly obese or has diabetes or something, there's no reason why she couldn't participate.
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And if I have children one day, they wont celebrate it either. It's not about not acknowledging love, we dont need a special day for that. We need to focus on that daily. Valentine's day uses some symbols and icons that are deities. Cupid/Aphrodite... so from a religios standpoint you can look to those implications (however benign or antiquated you consider them to be). Also holidays tend to thrive on the material. Lastly, I didnt (and still dont) celebrate any holidays when I was little. I would leave the class during holiday parties etc... I image some kids have a hard time with this, but my parents (and that's whose job it is to educate the kids to understand why they aren't participating and not "just because") made sure I really understood why I wasn't participating and that I could explain it to anyone who was interested in knowing. They are awesome for that. In contrast, I've always enjoyed that I had a different but strong foundation in faith. I felt special. I didnt feel like an outcast in any way or form. I was very proud because I felt like I was a manifestation and example of my cultural and religious heritage. Much the same as I feel about being Black or Native. Support children of differing faiths and classmate's parents would do well to explain to their children that people come from all different walks of life and that doesn't make them werid or odd. And those kids shouldn't pity them or treat them like they are wrong. Some times my teachers would even ask me if I wanted to address the class and let them know why I wasn't going to participate and to take any questions. I wish other children had such supportive experiences and me.
H
And Christmas is absolutely filled with pagan practices, but I know many a religious family that still celebrates it that way. And very little of the advertising I saw for Valentine's Day focused on any sort of deity... the only one I can think of was a tax commercial, not one for anything really relating to Valentine's Day. And, if you're Christian, Valentine's Day is based on St. Valentine to some degree as well. So, I don't buy the religious objection to it.
Then it was your choice. You left the classroom on your own, not for fear of getting into trouble for staying there during parties. That obviously isn't the case here, since the girl was worried about getting into trouble. And since the teacher, nor any of the students, had a clue as to why this girl was being asked to sit out, other than 'oh, she's some different religion.' The area I live in isn't exactly the most religiously diverse neighborhood, so I don't buy it.
Perhaps opening it up to all the children would be the best course of action. The girl being forced to sit out could explain why just as the children who are participating can explain why. Challenging an aspect of a faith can either open the person up to more and different experiences, or can solidify their own faith. Not challenging faith would create a society of mindless robots. And we already have too many of those.
~C
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Your reasoning for not "buy"ing into the religious objections make little sense in mai opinion. Even if you know "many a religious family that still celebrates" holidays with "pagan practicies" there are STILL religious families out there that you know and plenty that you dont know that don't celebrate them. Why would it not hold water just because some do? even if the majority (i dont know that to be true) aren't as strict or orthodox, 100% of them don't. Perhaps this girl's family is a part of a small group. They still exist and have a place in society. Not all Christians believe in or pray to saints. (Some Christians would call this "idol worship" or "idolatry".) To those Christians, St. Valentine means nothing at all. Perhaps you dont see many baby Cupids with arrows and such (which is surpising because I see them alot) they ARE still a part of the history of the holiday. Some faiths are what I call "better safe than sorry". Because the practice MAY upset/offend their creator/deity/God they leave it alone altogether.
I dont think it adds up that you took my words to mean I had no fear. I definitely have a Godly fear. YES! for the most part, I felt special and was glad to not celebrate those things (and as an adult i'm glad not to get wrapped up in them, and it allows for a wonderful financial savings). But that doesn't mean I never thought that if i DID my parents would be disappointed in me, or worse yet God would be disapproving of my actions.
"Mindless robots" true, we dont need anymore of them. Nor do we need people that can be easily influenced negatively by their peers. I dont know how old this child is, but she is a child, and it is her parents responsibility to guide her spirituality until she is ready to take it over. (Every child is different, they may be ready to take over this responsibility early on or not.) Faith is not lousy with logic or ration. It's faith, something that can't be debated. You just believe it to be true or you dont. It's not something that can be proven. Religion is a different beast altogether (often times a sad and lonely beast...lol).
I would hope that children would get a strong spiritual foundation and that foundation would go on to encourage them to develop their relationship with God in the manner in which serves them best and brings the 2 as close as possible. I know not everyone would agree.
"got enough guilt to start my own religion"- tori amos H
Actually, the only religious families that I know that don't celebrate them are families that don't celebrate any of those particular holidays. Jewish families, for instance, don't celebrate Christmas for what I would think are obvious reasons. But I don't know a single Christian family that does not celebrate Christmas because it has pagan roots. Frankly, I'd be shocked if a family came up to me and told me that they were practicing Christians and do not celebrate Christmas.
All the more reason for her to get up front and explain why she doesn't agree with Valentine's Day, if she is, indeed, making that choice herself. If her parents don't deem her old enough to make that choice herself, then she isn't old enough to understand why she isn't being allowed to celebrate it, and she could harbor some resentment because of it. That's typically not a good way to keep people religious.
Exactly. You made the choice. You may have made the choice because you were afraid that God was going to smite you for having some candy, but it was your choice. You weren't afraid that if you'd participate, you'd be beaten (or, less harshly, grounded) when you got home. See the difference? Perhaps not. One punishment is actual, the other is imagined.
I never said it could be proven. You are mixing me up with the atheists on the site. But, people who challenge your faith will either make you part from it, or make you believe more firmly in it. If you are never challenged, you are a mindless robot, only following a particular faith because your parents did, or some other mentor did. It's not a matter of debate, it's a matter of presenting other opinions and figuring out why your religion is the right one for you, and why the others aren't the right ones for you.
I'm a perfect example of this. When I was little, I was raised in a Christian household, just as my sisters are being raised as such now. I was challenged on a number of points, though, and found that I couldn't be a Christian. I didn't really believe what I was told when I was little. I made the choice to find my own faith, and I did. And I'm happier for it. I thought my faith was resolute... couldn't ever be changed. And yet it did. Now I'm just battling the religion side.
~C
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