First and foremost I'd like to give some results for this weekend, but they aren't truly related to the topic at hand.
Saturday we hosted the tournament and it ran extremely smooth. The costumes were great and the competition was fierce. Sunday we competed and UT Austin hosted. Again everything ran smooth and competition was great. Our team wasn't eligible for team sweepstakes since we hosted, but if we would have been we would have won (beating GMU).
But now to the real reason for me writing...this entire week has probably taught me the most important lesson I've learned in an extremely long time: that it's up to me to be happy. After brining myself down because of some problems that I face I began to get really depressed. I even thought about quitting speech and switching schools. But after working my ass off this week I found that I feel so much better when I push myself to my goals. I know now that I could NEVER quit speech because I would regret it soooo much. Further, I learned that it's up to me, not what anyone tells me, to make myself happy. And this is what I'm going to do, from now on. I've learned that it might really suck and wear me down to work and push during the week, but it makes me feel so happy and amazing. It's sad that it took me almost 19 years to realize this fact, but I did. I hope that others can see this and do this too.
A Matter of Choice
By vern - Posted on January 19th, 2009
I am so glad you came to the conclusion that quitting would hurt more than it helped.
I agree with you about porking toward goals. I feel really down on myself when I get lazy, to the point that I feel like I have LESS energy than I do when I'm working. It's a slippery slope. I start slacking and suddenly all I can do is slack. It's really hard to pull myself out of it. When I start working, I feel like I can do anything.
"Never go with a hippy to a second location."
~Jack Donaghy
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I was in the same predicament, and I still find it hard sometimes to push myself, but like you said, it's a choice and only you can push yourself to be happy. Sadly, it took me 20 years.