There is a possibility that smoking in public in Los Angeles may become outlawed. The Los Angeles city committee is working toward “a new ban on smoking on restaurant patios or within ten feet of any establishment that serves food or beverages,” according to an article in the Los Angeles Times. This would not apply to bars and other places that have an eighteen and older restriction, however. The plans for this new law are still very rough. It would not go into effect until summer at the very earliest. Punishments for violating this new law are still to be decided. There are increasing number of people that are against smoking. People now a days openly state the medical disadvantages of smoking. This is the reason why many people are not completely against this new proposition.
Smoking is a dirty, gross habit and I am thankful for the restrictions that are currently placed on smokers. But, I do not believe it is fair to place even more limits on these people. They are already condemned to stand out in the cold in order to light up. Alcohol also damages the body and can effect the people surrounding the person that is drinking, but these people are not forced to stand outside to drink.
I do not know exactly what I am trying to say. I do not think smoking should become illegal, but I completely understand the health hazards that go along with smoking. This is a very confusing blog and I am sorry but my thoughts are not completely clear to me.
Sorry
Yeah, people don't have to go outside to drink, but I don't spell the alcohol from the other side of the restaurant. In addition, smoking is banned from buildings in the major city in my area. My mom was talking to a friend who smokes and she was really upset about it. However, the way I figure it, smoking is an addition and smoking is unhealthy. Why should I have to suffer from second-hand smoke because these people are too selfish to take it outside? Last year, some friends and I were sitting outside a Starbucks and the people at the other outdoor table were smoking. One of my friends went into a nearly fatal asthma attack because of the smoke. Being around smoke sends her into an asthma attack. Why should she have to go through that every time someone feels like having a smoke? Anyway, I personally find smoking greatly offensive and disturbing. I mean, it STINKS and I don't want to smell it. It's their addiction and no one else should have to suffer for it.
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
otherwise, it is not exactly the person smoking's fault, your friend might have been able to avoid that if he/she knew that this could get so bad and could have moved...although it is awful but please don't treat smokers like second class citizens, that is also irritating and disgusting to me.
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
http://pakistaniat.com/2008/01/01/heer-ranjha-the-story-of-punjabs-first...
We were right outside the Starbucks, so the people had every legal right to be smoking. We had to leave the area because it was really starting to bother my friend and then while we were walking to another coffee shop out of the way of smokers, she started having the asthma attack.
But that's my point, they couldn't have known. They can cause second-hand smoke damage (even lung cancer) and fatal asthma attacks, and never know. And yet, they're still believe that they're being done an injustice by not being able to smoke indoors. Jeez, if I had my way, they wouldn't be allowed to smoke in public period.
They're not second class citizens. I have many friends and even family members who smoke. What bothers me is that we should have to cater to their desire for addiction and lack of self-control, even if it means other people dying.
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
you keep calling it lack of self control, o think you;re wrong
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
http://pakistaniat.com/2008/01/01/heer-ranjha-the-story-of-punjabs-first...
It is a self-control problem. These people have addictions that harm themselves and harm others. I am aware that quitting is not easy in the least, but I think we have a lot more of a right to tell them to quit or not smoke in public then they do to demand that we smell their smoke.
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
self control is when you're on a diet and you eat 3 brownies instead of the one you know you should have. While i think smoking is the dumbest thing you could ever start, i also know that for many, smoking becomes an addiction: one with physical withdrawl that can only be eased by nicotine. just because u don't understand why anyone would like to smoke doesn't make it a choice for every person. if they could stop at will, i know a lot of people that would have stopped as soon as they realized what a burden it was. it just doesn't work that way.
ITs funny you call it a "self-control problem" then admit its an 'addiction' which is marked with the lack of control or choice.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
The lack of self control is the self control problem...
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SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Wouldn't that be nice if things were that simple?
Maybe somebody needs to look up the functions of addiction...It really goes beyond just manning up and personal strength to get past. Addiction is a physical dependence on a substance much similar to the needs of water, air and love... without would result in a very negative experience and even death.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
yeah... its only a lack of self-control (and addiction-cuz feeling withdrawal of nicotine is involuntary) for those who WANT to quit, not everyone who smokes wants to stop, but I bet it runs across most of their minds at some time or another
i can smell alcohol when i go places...eww gross. there should be special huts w/warmers for smokers, far far far away from everybody else, people shouldn't have to fear about 2nd hand smoke. actually at some clubs, i know they already make accommodations like that, other places should too
Hello everyone I am a smoker. I smoke. I go outside and smoke. I step down wind of the door to the building or i smoke near my car. I fully agree with the no smoking indoor ban that is in place. It is my addiction and not the addiction of those around me. At the same time smokers pay high taxes on their drug of choice and we have major restrictions on where we can do it. I do not smoke in my house because I have two kids that I will not smoke around. I do not believe that the ban from smoke with in 10 feet of the restaurant will be a bad things if the restaurant has to provide a place for me to smoke so I am not in the rain or cold. I do not mind taking it outside but you have to be careful of how much you force us to do. I have seen many things that are worse then smoking in restaurants. Like people showing off far to much of their body. I have also seen body piercings that make me sick and I have to explain those to my kids or a tattoo that is far nice. Why are we not asking them to cover them up or remove them.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
Like people showing off far to much of their body. I have also seen body piercings that make me sick and I have to explain those to my kids or a tattoo that is far nice. Why are we not asking them to cover them up or remove them.
I cannot tell you how much I totally ditto! Like seriously...women, I don't want to see your boobs, back fat, butt, stomach, and the rest of your body. And guess what? It makes you look fat. Men, I don't want to see your underwear. Seriously. And if I have to, at least make it interesting, like purple flowers and hearts or something.
As for the body piercings and tattoos...those are just gross and tacky...this is something I debate with my friends a lot, but IMHO, they're gross.
P.S. Sorry to anyone I offended...O:-)
RESPECT LIFE
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"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Hahaha.... I was just telling my husband something like "Men, I don't want to see your underwear." but more in refrence to women who wear thongs and bend over and show us their undies and tan lines. This is when I let my kids point and giggle and say bootie.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
This is when I let my kids point and giggle and say bootie.
*giggles madly*
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Last I checked, my tattoos or choice of dress, while possibly make you ill with disgust, won't actually cause lasting damage, let alone potentially kill you.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
Well, for tattoos, I would say generally they are just disgusting. However, if a person dresses in a revealing way, it can cause a religious person to make a sin against chastity. So many guys I know have complained about what women wear and how difficult that is for them. As a girl, I just don't like seeing men with their shirts off...they either look nerdy and thus gross or they look the opposite and REALLY shouldn't have their shirts off. :P Finally, once an image is ingrained into the mind, it is there forever and thus does have lasting damage.
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
"However, if a person dresses in a revealing way, it can cause a religious person to make a sin against chastity"
That makes no sense at all. So, by that same token, does that mean a woman dressing in a revealing way is the cause of a person to rape them? If a religious person makes a sin against chastity because of the way someone dressed, then that makes me wonder how serious they were about not committing that sin. That sounds like an excuse to me.
--------
Respectfully,
Adam L. Labonoski
PUAA Director's Assistant
To add to that ... What classifys as revealing? Some people and soem places believe it wrong too see anything more then just the down cast eyes of a woman. How far could religious rules go
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
People call it underwear for a reason. It is suppose to be under an outer layer of clothes so I can not see it. I am not trying to bring back the hoop skirt or overalls. I just do not want to know that the guy eating in front of me is wearing a pink thong. Or that the girl across from me is not wearing a bra and I know what her nipples look like.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
Says the Muslim: "I don't want to see a woman's forearms or lips in public because they will cause men to think unclean thoughts."
Says the 15th century Christian: "I don't want to see a person's ankles in public because it will cause others to think unclean thoughts."
It's the same idea as what you're saying.
Guess what? It's the human body. That fact that humans are disgusted by their own body speaks volumes about the mentality of the human race. To think that anything but the face, hands, forearms, and calves are sexual in even the most liberal of societies shows just how confident people are about one of the most natural aspects of ourselves as a species.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
:yay:
for your post,
I saw a documentary called "Naked Across America" or something like that. A man was gathering as many people as possible to pose naked in public places for his film.
A very interesting film indeed.
For some reason when I see people naked, just hanging out, not posing for impending intercourse, I don't see it as a sexual thing at all.
I am fascinated by the freedom that person must be experiencing.
For those religious folks, they are bound still by the curse of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, when they discovered that they were naked and felt ashamed.
Shame is one of things that marks us humans as having "knowledge of evil." Some people have broken that cycle, and do not feel shame. They may actually be closer to God than most of us, because they have no need to feel shame anymore.
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I've recently gotten into belly dancing and I think it's gone a long way toward making me feel better about my body (I still have image issues, but that will hopefully go away with time, especially as I get into better shape). I think, too, that it helps get rid of that shame that comes with living in an Abrahamic society.
Belly dancing is certainly a very sensual, feminine type of dance, accentuating the curves of a woman (and as an exercise, it tones muscles, but keeps the soft, feminine look because they're tones using very light, if any weights). I think, though, that it celebrates being a woman as a graceful being and instills confidence more so than making a woman look like a sex object.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
I did it for a bit, out of practice now.
wikipedia's article on it is fascinating.
I was hoping to find some commentary explaining it in context with Islam, but I didn't find anything discussing the relationship between the two.
Did you know there were male belly dancers?
Here is a fascinating snippet:
"The traditional birthing practices theory relates to a sub-set of dance movements found in modern raqs sharqi. Strongly publicized through the research of the dancer/layperson-anthropologist Morocco (also known as Carolina Varga Dinicu), it asserts that belly dancing is a reworking of movements traditionally utilized to demonstrate or ease childbirth. Although lacking ideas about the exact origin of belly dance, this theory does have the advantage of being supported by numerous oral historical references, and is backed by commentary in The Dancer of Shamahka."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belly_dance
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Did you know there were male belly dancers?
Yep, seen a couple videos of them, too. It just makes it more obvious that it's a feminine dance. =) (It's still cool to see a male belly dancer, though.)
It always struck me as contradictory to the teachings of Islam, despite the primarily Middle Eastern heritage of it, though I haven't looked too much into the history of it. There's also a lot of variations of it, too, which seem to suggest that many different cultures had a similar dance (there are a lot of Native American styles, for example).
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
it is considered to have originated in asia, but most likely came to the middle east through Egypt.
I asked asmaw about it, she said that behind closed doors with family, anything is permissible in a traditional Muslim home.
this is very different than western Christianity which has constructed all kinds of taboos around sex, but doesn't seem to mind so much the degree to which our culture celebrates half naked too nearly naked women portrayed in the media.
How people react to the same thing in real life is varied, but in general, most people don't mind seeing a plunging V line that dips down to just above J Lo's pubis.
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Tolkien basically summed it up. :P
It's hard to draw the lines, but generally, most (in my circle) agree to shirts no lower than 3 fingers below the collarbone (I prefer to call it the armpit rule :P) and skirts/pants no higher than the knee. Nothing too tight or skimpy and there should be no skin showing from the beginning of the shirt to the end of the pants/skirt. A lot are more particular than that, but then it just gets nitpicky.
I try not to judge by where to draw the line, but rather what I feel comfortable in. I wear a t shirt and shorts when in my bathing suit, but that's the only time I wear shorts. Beyond that, everything is capris, pants, or skits that go below the knee. As for shirts, I tend to judge it by the shirt, but I'm Italian, so it's hard to find stuff that looks cute but isn't too tight, if you know what I mean. I personally don't like things low and wide but I sometimes wear them. Most of the time, though, I'm decked out in too-big t-shirts and faded jeans. :P
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Well, for example, if a woman is wearing a shirt that enhances her breasts, a guy will look at her and this will lead to a certain train of thought. Whereas he can control himself by trying to concentrate on others, it is wrong for the woman to be putting him in an occasion of sin and she thus bears some (not all) responsibility for his thoughts.
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
So, then, do you believe that a woman who is wearing something you consider "inappropriate" (ie - not according to the dress code you outlined in a previous comment or in something that would make you feel uncomfortable if you wore it) "had it coming" if she gets raped? Because, you know, the guy didn't have any self-control upon seeing her?
The only person who has control over one's thoughts is oneself. No one has responsibility over what other people think.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
If it comes to rapings, then the guy has a lack of self-control and committed a serious wrong. My concentration, though, is moreso on how if a guy and girl are friends and are talking and how it could be uncomfortable for the guy if the woman's clothing is extremely revealing.
That is correct, but you can provoke the thoughts and that does leave you a certain sense of responsibility. This world isn't a "me against the world", it's a "let's all work together to be the best people we can be." By encouraging those thoughts in men, those women are not helping to make the world a better place in that regard.
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Such thoughts are only encouraged because the body parts that are revealed by "revealing" clothes are a taboo in this society.
Like I stated before, it's the same idea as arms above the wrists and legs above the ankles in fundamentalist Muslim traditions, or ankles themselves in 15th century Christian society. It's "sexual" because it's taboo.
Don't think so? Go to an art studio where there's a nude model and experienced artists. I'm quite confident that the artists aren't thinking about the model in any sexual way. Why? Because the human body, even completely naked, isn't considered sexual to most models. They see lights and darks, highlights, shadows, lines, and colors. They see the human body as a subject of beauty for the beauty it is, not for sexual reasons.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
You are right the naked body is a beautiful thing, but I do not want to see it while I am eating that is something for private. I think that it would be nice if as a society we had more modesty not less. When I was younger and single I found it more attractive to see women fully covered or at least pants and a t-shirt. I had little to no respect for a woman that would show off her body. I would often think and ask people "so how many people do you think have hit that." That was bad for me to think and say, but that is also how they acted. How you look and act (often just look) is how you get treated.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
Nudity all by itself is not offensive or pornographic. Far more pornographic than nudity is a peak at a woman's thong framing her gluteus maximus and minimus, and the floss that runs down her butt crack. Not so sexy, in my opinion.
I would much rather see everyone naked, equal, on an even playing field. No need for accessories or accoutrements, just give me skin, not apportioned quarters of meat for sale.
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You're missing the point. It's only "showing off one's body" because in most of society, "the body" is taboo. It's like the ankle thing I keep mentioning. Showing one's ankles used to fall under "showing off one's body," and people of the time thought the exact same way you think now.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
Some how this reminded me that people used to think that shaving was meant for, and signified, the easy girls. It’s funny how things change... Most women* now would not go out with out first shaving because they do not want to be thought of as gross or lazy.
*When I say most women I am referring to American woman.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
Well, our society does find the tight clothes and short clothes and the boobs "sexy" and it does turn guys on...so because of this, women should have more respect for themselves and for men and cover themselves...in addition, how many women really ENJOY wearing clothes that are so tight, you have to keep pulling on them and so wide that you keep having to fool with them and whatnot? In addition, a lot of the current fashions AREN'T that pretty, modest or immodest...
Great, so if I want to see naked people, I'll go to an art studio. Otherwise, I'd like to see people with clothes...
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Does God's creation bother you that much?
Just kidding
I always thought that shame showed up with sin...its all in the intention.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
Yeah, the intention is definitely important...and generally, with or without realizing it, girls do wear those clothes because they want to attract guys and look sexy. What they ignore, however, is what this attraction does for the guy.
I might get married one day, and it really bothers me that my future spouse may fall prey to the disregard for modesty. He might be one that can't look away, can't stop, can't control his hormones. Because of this realization, I pray for him every single day. However, girls shouldn't count on other girls praying for their husbands as an excuse to continue to throw everything they've got in guys' faces.
Dressing modestly, especially in this time when so many things are immodest, can be hard sometimes. I generally don't care about my looks, so I'm content with t-shirts and jeans for the summer and sweatshirts and jeans during the winter. I have some cuter clothes and I wear them, too, to get variety. This summer, I'll have to do some shopping because you kinda have to dress up at Christendom every day, so I'll have quite an interesting dilemma then. To me, though, it's just common courtesy to dress modestly, especially as I and other friends have had multiple guys thank us for dressing modestly.
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
One day you may marry and have kids and might have confidence in your body and control which may lead you to wear clothes that are not as modest as you now consider acceptable.
When I was breast feeding my 'boobs' were awesome and I felt inclined to wear lower cut more form fitting/revealing. Never the less this did not change the fact that I do not like seeing undies during dinner out nights.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
Well, it's not, for me, a self-confidence issue...it's more like a respect thing for guys. Generally, the guys I'm around are hormone-raged teenagers who are trying to lead a chaste life, so for me to wear immodest clothing would be embarrassing for me and difficult for them.
As for the boobs, I do often see moms breast feeding their kids and it doesn't really bother me to see their boobs like that. It's generally the clothing thing on every woman that bugs me.
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
and I want to ask, what would you do if your husband told you he enjoyed seeing you in clothes that outline and flatter your figure? Would you be mad that he enjoyed seeing you in such a way?
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Well, I can't really see myself marrying someone who would want me to dress immodestly in public, but if he picked out clothes for me that were revealing in some way, unless I felt really uncomfortable in them, I would wear it. I do wear things that are (to me :P) low cut and tight. I just pick and choose each item of clothing as I go along and figure out where to draw the line with each one.
My husband would be, in many ways, my spiritual leader. He's the head of the household and would be my gauge of what to wear. For example, my mom doesn't wear white pants because my dad doesn't like the fact that they're often see through. However, she paints her toenails because he likes it. She says that he's the one she's supposed to be attractive to, and if he makes a request like that, she generally obeys him.
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
"obeys"????
:-O
:angry:
Oh my gosh this makes my blood boil and I feel a rant coming on. Unfortunately I do not have time to articulate so I will leave it at that.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
You got that far? It started at "My husband would be, in many ways, my spiritual leader. He's the head of the household and would be my gauge of what to wear." for me...
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
Hehe yeah those words primed my soul for the on coming torture although now that I look back I must have blacked that part out in shock.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
What could be wrong with her words. I can see the logic in it. Her mom does not wear white pants because her dad does not like them. So if she openly wears white pants is she trying to impress someone else. She paints her nails because he like it that sound okay to me. Now the obey is the only word I have trouble with she should want to do what make him happy just like he should want to do the things that makes her happy. I hate wearing pants that fix me right and hug my butt, but my wife like to see me in them so from time to time I wear them. My wife also like it when I take a interest in how I look so I take an interest. I do this things because I love my wife and I want to make her happy. I see nothing wrong about me trying to make the woman I love with all my being happy. Do you see something wrong with that?
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
The way she puts it comes off (at least to us) not as her doing something because she loves her would-be husband, but because she feels she needs to "obey" him.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
you may wish to re read she statement she says "if he makes a request like that, she generally obeys him." those two words stick out to me because a request is not an order. I can request that that person does not need to follow it. The next word is generally which in context does not see it as a big issue and will do it.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
....And you're also missing the point....
Please read my response to Tolkien, who responded to the same comment.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
you are not having much success with Wellbutrin?
How is the sex life going?
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I had a bad reaction to it. I lost control of my anger one of the side effects. So I had to stop taking it. My doc recommended that I start smoking again to make sure that I do not fall to the other end of the spectrum.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
Uh you had a bad reaction th the Wellbutrin you were taking?
I know my hubby had an incedent with Chantix and was going to try Wellbutrin but has not gotten around to be willing to make the second attempt yet. This time I really want to be ready for anything that may come about so any tips you have please share.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
I have heard about these kinds of reactions to Chantix, which I posted on your blog about your husband. I have never heard about similar reactions to Wellbutrin. I posted the most extreme side effects of Wellbutrin somewhere too, can't remember where, and violence wasn't one of them.
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I need to stop and read more I had a bad reaction to chantix not Wellbutrin. Sorry for the confussion
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
Well that is very nice of your Doctor to open his wallet up to the liability he just caused. I would get a copy of that note and keep it on file. When you pass away from the bad effect of your habit, your kids will have the proof to get a big payout from his malpractice insurance.
--------
Respectfully,
Adam L. Labonoski
PUAA Director's Assistant
If there was a note I would have it on file but it was a verbal suggestion.
"Something given has no value"~Robert Heinlein
"Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it, is." Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richards Almanack, 1749
don't like the fact that we think they are "demanding" you to smell their smoke....they are not if they are smoking in an area where they reached first and there is no nonsmoking sign there for them to follow and abide by.
respectlife I Know what you are saying...I don't agree with your method of thinking you have the right to demand for them not to smoke or to quit, I am sure most know of the side effects but you can't dish out advice if it is not welcome and might actually be taken wrongly, as you overstepping your bounds, especially if the person was there before you and is in a smoking allowed zone.
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
http://pakistaniat.com/2008/01/01/heer-ranjha-the-story-of-punjabs-first...
I don't care if they smoke...I just care if they do it to where I can smell it/be affected by it. I mean, if all the smokers could smoke whenever they wanted wherever they wanted, then there'd more likely than not be an increase in lung diseases. Who should have to deal with a life long disease because of the inconsideration of others?
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I smoke. I do not like this about myself.
I have quit before, I know I can
I don't want to right now
It bothers me
I do everything I can to minimize its damaging effects on others.
I only smoke outside
I wear a rain parka
I brush my teeth and wash my hands after
I do everything I can to protect others from my disease
I wish all addicts did the same
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Oh the guilt of accidently sending a plume towards a non-smoker...even with they do not mind... Its terrible.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
i believe that i would agree with you. smoking is just another way to destroy you lungs, teeth, and get cancer all at the same time. but placing limits on blokes AFTER they have been quite saturated with the warnings and dangers of smoking, at least in America, is (i think) unconstitutional. (unless your from ancient Egypt, then you would worship the god of smoking...LOL)
Funnily, but I feel a bit like an expert on this whole tangent.
My soul is bisexual, therefore I see things in both a masculine and feminine perspective.
I do not wish to push one agenda over another.
My goal is to discover truth. I do not care what the cost. I would rather die and burn in hell than be a fool living a lie.
A woman should be free to choose her lover, husband, and father of her child(ren). When those freedoms are removed, there is a price, which is paid by the child born of the situation.
At the same time, a mother should consider the fate of her child, and understand that a solid connection with his/her father is essential to his/her growth.
Women who wish to eradicate the role of the male on the reproductive cycle are living in denial at the cost of their daughters.
Tangential as it all is, it is all relevant.
To question or not to question, that is the question.
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I think tolkien pretty much summed up my philosophy pretty well. However, I was really surprised at the violent opposition to the word "obey." Out of curiosity...why is the idea of obeying your spouse so vehemently revolting?
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
It wasn't just the "obey" part that got me.
My husband would be, in many ways, my spiritual leader. He's the head of the household and would be my gauge of what to wear. For example, my mom doesn't wear white pants because my dad doesn't like the fact that they're often see through. However, she paints her toenails because he likes it. She says that he's the one she's supposed to be attractive to, and if he makes a request like that, she generally obeys him.
Indeed, the opinion of one's spouse is important, yes, but referring to them in terms of "leader" and "head of household" (as well as using terms such as "obey," especially in the context) generally imply that one sees oneself as inferior or "below" their spouse, which is something that at least I (and I'd venture to guess WA feels the same) take issue with. I wholeheartedly believe that spouses are a team and are on equal level with each other.
I welcome the input of my husband for what to wear, but it ultimately comes down to what I feel comfortable wearing. I don't do something simply because he asks or wants me to. I'll consider what he has to say and if I feel comfortable doing it, then I will.
Take your mom and the white pants, for example. If I wanted to wear white pants, but my husband doesn't like the ones that are see-through, then I'd probably consider opaque white pants (such as white jeans), or save them for when I'm doing something and he's not around, but I'm probably not going to stop wearing white pants if I like them.
The word "obey" also has a loaded connotation and a definition that shows a pretty clear chain of command:
Obey - be obedient to
Obedient - dutifully complying with the commands or instructions of those in authority.
That chain of command runs contrary to my (and probably WA's) standards of spousal relationships being equal teammates.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
referring to them in terms of "leader" and "head of household" (as well as using terms such as "obey," especially in the context) generally imply that one sees oneself as inferior or "below" their spouse, which is something that at least I (and I'd venture to guess WA feels the same) take issue with. I wholeheartedly believe that spouses are a team and are on equal level with each other.
I agree that I am equal to any man on the basic level that we are both human beings and would not see myself below my spouse. However, just as those on teams have different duties, I personally believe (and am not saying anyone else has to view marriage this way) that my spouse would be the spiritual leader. It is his duty to ensure that his children have the proper religious education and does what he sees fit in order to accomplish that. Another one of his duties is to get me to heaven (and vice versa). Finally, to quote "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (awesome movie), "The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants!" :P
Finally, I can see where you would view the word "obey" to mean to listen simply because they said so. However, if I "obeyed" him, it would not be simply because he's my husband. It would be because I love him and want to please him (similar to what tolkien was saying).
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I think part of it is because of the number of marriages I've seen fail because they work on the principle of "his kids/stuff, her kids/stuff."
It is his duty to ensure that his children have the proper religious education and does what he sees fit in order to accomplish that.
While I agree that each spouse fills a different role, I have to respectfully disagree with this, especially in cases where the parents don't necessarily share the same views (and this is views in general, not just spiritual).
First of all, I don't believe our kids are his kids or my kids, they are our kids, and we are a team with raising them. To divide things like that is to lose the strength of the parental unit and the kids will be more likely to play one against the other. This means we need to come to a consensus on what to teach them. Could his role be to do the actual teaching? Certainly, but the content (and perhaps even the method) is agreed upon by both parents.
Finally, to quote "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (awesome movie), "The man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants!" :P
That is certainly an amusing quote. :)
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
You're very right on the his/her stuff. I believe that it's important for children to see their parents unified on the important matters (ie, spiritual stuff). All the specifics of how things work really need to depend on the individual couples and their situations, so it is difficult to make a general statement on how things should go. However, I would respect my husband as the spiritual head of the family and if he says something about an issue, I would likely oblige if it is morally ok (that's not to say that I wouldn't talk to him about my views, just that if he still disagrees, I would probably be ok with it).
Anyway...I'm just 16, so I haven't gotten all the miniscule stuff worked out yet. :P However, that type of philosophy is what has really worked for my parents and other parents I know. :)
Yeah, I love that movie! :)
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Indeed, generalities for such things are likely to be way off base for at least some people.
I'm just 16, so I haven't gotten all the miniscule stuff worked out yet.
Heh, I've been married for almost three years and we still haven't gotten the minuscule things worked out. :D I don't think you ever will, since there's so many different things for people to have an opinion on, and things change with time.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
This whole tangent and conversation is really stale to me, as a person. I have identified as bisexual. This is a re-identification, BTW, one that I rediscovered in my recent time on ProU.
My husband is a wonderful man. Everyone I know loves him, male or female. Men want to be him. Women want him to want them.
He absorbs a lot of the negativity that is designed for or directed toward me.
We work at the same place. I hear women whisper about him, or just talk about him if they know I don't really care.
He shares with me what he undergoes at work in terms of comments about our relationship.
I hear good things. People tell me what a perfect couple we are, comment on our Christmas card and photo, and want to know about our baby.
He hears other things. He hears other guys our age or older, boyfriends of "girlfriends" of ours who are under pressure to marry and don't feel ready, the same girlfriend crying about not feeling appreciated or valued.
He is the kind of guy both women and men share very openly with. Most are not shy with me about how attractive they find him.
I love my husband. He is wonderful, and rare. He has not wavered in his committment to me, ever.
He is a wonderful father. He is the center of my daughter's world. I have to beg her for kisses, while she plays with me and tells me, "No, I daddy's seedie-buhd (sweetie-bird)"
He has been her #1, primary contact and caregiver from day 1.
On the other hand, I am the bread winner. At the hospital where we work, I am a manager, and he is my subordinate.
None of this matters very much to any of us, including Elia.
There have been a couple of times though, where my husband has expressed to me a sense of powerlessness, like things were in my hands, and he didn't feel I was doing the right thing for him, myself, Elia, or our family.
I didn't like that. I don't want the responsibility for others. I didn't ask to be the leader of a family.
So what? I am. Whether I like it or not, and same for my husband. I am the "leader." I make the most money. I have more formal opportunities for growth. I happen to be pretty undisciplined, so it really isn't good for people to follow my lead. I do what I need to in order to get by.
Well, guess what. I don't have a choice anymore. I have to be responsible. I have to make the sacrifices of the the "leader" of the house. Everyone depends on me.
It doesn't matter if I like it or not. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. Historical, spiritual, cultural, sociological and psychological standards of familial structure mean nothing whatsoever to me and mine.
So, in my world, those things mean nothing whatsoever. I love who I love, and I do what I do, and I do my best to live consciously, so that I do right by everyone.
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turtles, I think that that if that situation is working out for your family, then that's awesome! Like I said to dragonwolf, it's difficult to make general statements because situations are so different from family to family.
One of my best friends while I was living in CT had a stay-at-home dad and a working mom. The dad homeschooled him and his two siblings and the mom worked. I have no doubt that they probably got some flack about that, but that's how things worked out best for their family and I never judged them negatively for making that decision.
However, for me, I wouldn't want that position. I would want to marry a man who would be the breadwinner while I could stay at home and cook, clean, teach our children, and be active in the pro-life community. I love cooking, I love cleaning (most of the time...it's probably the Italian in me :P), I love teaching, and I love the pro-life stuff, so that would, by far, be an ideal situation for me. At the same time, however, I would be prepared to be the breadwinner in case anything (God forbid!!!) happened to my husband (lost job, injury, death). Therefore, I'm going to college and I'm hoping to get a teaching degree at some point.
But I have another question...is being the leader being the breadwinner?
RESPECT LIFE
SMILE EVERY DAY
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
No but you will have to define leader for me. My hubby is the breadwinner, for now, in my place but I assure you nothing happens unless I say to or do it. I do allow him the luxury of being appart of the descion and at time eveb let him think he is the one making with the choices....Leadership is an odd odd umbrella.
There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.~- Anais Nin
I am sure there are many women who think this way as well.
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In many ways, I think, yes. I mean, I am the one who pays the bills and does the budgeting. I know in some homes the person who isn't working sometimes does that, its different in every home.
I make the decisions about my work schedule, which totally affects our family life. Of course, my husband has feelings about it, and we discuss it, but ultimately I am the one who decides how many jobs I have and how many hours I work where.
For us though, my husband is just naturally a follower. i know that sounds bad, but its true. He has always been that way. He has always latched on to someone else for strength and support, to be the example that he will follow.
When we first met, I didn't know this. I started to figure it out when he would talk about past relationships. He always looked for women who had a certain position or status that he wanted to live up to.
Don't get me wrong, he is a leader in his own way. At work, he is the most competent person I know when it comes to emergencies. In a larger social setting, he is a commander when it comes to physical safety of others. He is a protector, that is for sure. I have seen him in the throws of a brawl in defense of a buddy, and it was not pretty. He is not weak by any means.
Its just that if I am caught up in bad habits, he tends to follow my lead. If I take charge and take a stance on something, he will follow suit. I don't ask him to do this, he just does. In the past there have been times when it annoyed me because I felt responsible for his "bad" behavior, like smoking. Then again, he is in charge of himself, and I don't *make* him do anything. Of course, if I wanted to be the best person I could be, I would take all of that into consideration and clean up my act, which I think i am going to do pretty soon anyway.
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makes sense, and is not offensive. He is talking about relationships between equals. Wanting to do things in order to please someone we love is natural.
Using the word "obey" connotates that the thing being done is not pleasing to the doer. I would never *obey* my husband, but i would and do take his needs and desires into consideration. I don't do things that I know really bother him. That is called being a giving lover, not an obedient servant.
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Why not let let people practice freedom?
The owner of the establishment should have control over his property. The owner should decide if it is is a smoking estabilshment or not. Property rights are fundamental to a free society so this is a good place to start.
It is reasonable to expect the owner to post a prominent sign in their window which informs every potential employee and customer of their decision. Freedom can flow from there.
Employees can decide if smoking is or is not an issue for them and apply for the job or not apply for the job.
Customers can decide if smoking is an issue for them an decide to patironize or not patronize the business,
Why does everybody feel compelled to tell everybody else what feedom they are allowed to enjoy?
And yes it is a medical issue. Insurance companies should most definately be free to set higher premiums for smokers and they should be free to deny claims by smokers who lie to get lower rates by claiming they are non-smokers..
I agree with all of this.
I also think raising cigarette taxes to fund children's health care is a horrible idea.
"What a crazy random happenstance!"
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Read my Blog!
"I also think raising cigarette taxes to fund children's health care is a horrible idea."
I just discovered in doing some research for my Public Administration class that the Orange County Dept. of Children's and Family Services is largely answering to the Children & Families Commission, designed to qualify the county for funds provided by Prop 10, which imposed a 50 cent per pack tax on cigarettes;
"In November 1998, California voters passed a statewide ballot initiative, Proposition 10, that added a 50-cent sales tax to tobacco products sold in the state. The resulting revenues are directed by the program to fund new and expanded education, health and early childhood development programs, from the prenatal period to age five.
The State Commission, or First 5 California, receives 20 percent of Proposition 10 funds for statewide programs and public outreach. The remaining 80 percent of funds are allocated to commissions in each of California's 58 counties by their birth rate (Orange County has the second highest birth rate in the state).
In 1999, the Orange County Board of Supervisors established the Children and Families Commission and appointed its nine commissioners to assess and allocate funds to programs that promote development of children in our community. The Commissioners are drawn from the ranks of public and private-sector leaders in the areas of pediatric health and education.
The Commission began with a series of public meetings throughout the county to receive input from organizations that serve children and families, under-represented ethnic groups, and special-need populations. Based on what it learned, the Commission adopted its first Strategic Plan. It allocated the first tobacco tax revenues on February 16, 2000.
The Children and Families Commission of Orange County continues to allocate millions of dollars to fund an ever-expanding range of programs. The programs include local community groups and service organizations, social service partners, school districts, faith-based groups, local hospitals and health clinics, family shelters, and minority/ethnic organizations to ensure every child in Orange County grows up great."
http://occhildrenandfamilies.org/factsheet.htm
My main issue is this; We are making the quality of social welfare available to children and families based on the success of Tobacco Companies to keep their customers. Addiction pays for band aids. What a perfect system it is.
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