I didn't want to write this...I never want to do things that I know I need to do.
No...I run away from certain things, mostly myself.
I want to curse like never before.
Just so the people, who I thought knew me, wake up and smell reality.
But I don't...because I don't want to sin, or I don't want to let me become that person who can not control her anger at things, which I know others consider silly but I spend my time caring about.
I don't know what you think of me, where have you been all my life if you still laugh at my madness, or sadness or anger that I welcome when....I need an answer from you, like, right now...all you say is "I don't know."
I don't give a damn about people who say, "I don't know."
Especially when I know they know the answer,
and me, What the hell is wrong with me?
Why do I love them?
Why do I know I would bleed for them?
No, Really.
I'd give them my blood, and they could drink it,
because I don't care for it.
No
I am hoping that some one, any one,
knows that this is how much I care about you.
I am going to change the cycle.
I wish you'd help me,
or please take the exit to your left.
I will stay on my right.
----
Let me go...you're afraid.
I won't change all or any part of me, it's not you,
I've caved in, I have already changed me.
Don't waste your time on this mess that is me.
Still I breathe...I want you to try...mold me.
Color me in and make me fit, lets see if I could be, part of you, yet still be me.
Even so…erase these hopes. Forget my dreams.
I just want you to need me. Like I need this air to breathe.
Or how about you close and, open those eyes, but still feel me.
You could save me from the pain, and yourself the added trouble...
I just wish I knew...why I can't change the same-old me.
---
I find it funny that while I am editing this post,
the song that is playing is Lying From You
I've done nothing, and dreamt of everything :)
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
Girl, u can't even begin to know how much i relate.
I still don't know what I am saying
I write the words but half the time I have no idea what I meant to write when I started
Yes, it does happen to me far too often.
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
It's called "automatic writing," Just putting words out as they come into your mind. The trick is to wait to rationalize until you are finished.
I must admit, I might not always understand exactly what you mean by your words, but your words always mean something to me.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
Yeah, turdlesuds, I agree. I would actually equate this to a "freewrite" where you don't stop to edit your self and kind of just write your stream of consciousness.
*~*~*~*~
I need some more input from y'all here in this forum topic: A ProgressiveU Radio Show/Podcast
I think this is an idea that can improve the ProgressiveU community.
that I have now shared with many more.
and thank you to the One above,
for helping me make friends.
and there is one specific person in my life who is being referenced in the don't know part
and she knows who she is, This has been the only problem between us that we don't know how to or either don't want to solve.
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
how nice of her
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
she's a spaceman, no walker, dreamer...maybe
and I could be talking about me as the one who doesn't know, I realized this in conversation with some confidential beings, no I mean someone like my madre, that those who say they don't know are the truth...
I just can't say it out loud, although I type it, but I know I don't know,
So I love you, you...who always tells me that you don't know, well neither do I.
But together we will find out because you've always been there even in your silence and I have always loved you even in my self imposed jail. You could have called but you don't even answer your phone, I am going to take it from you and give you my battered one because I use my phone more than you. You just have it for show :),
Now that this is out the way, hope you read this one day,
I can only stay mad at you for about 5 minutes and I am over it, poof, it's gone.
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
I am going to comment
for the comment ? :)
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
http://pakistaniat.com/2008/01/01/heer-ranjha-the-story-of-punjabs-first...
I like how free your writing is..yet it sounds weird but I totally understand it. I normally get my thoughts out through poetry and that helps me. This is a constructive way of expressing yourself and I hope it helps you. I loved it.
Come to the darkside....we have cookies ;)
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/50086-%E2%80%9Ctaxi-darkside%E2%80%9D-u...
every one, any one, and someone
“You cannot wean away an addict from the drug. It is not possible for me to walk away from Ranjha. If it is our destiny to be together then who, other than God, can change it?”
http://pakistaniat.com/2008/01/01/heer-ranjha-the-story-of-punjabs-first...