Actually I lied, it said to write a blog. I had nothing to say and had nothingness left inside of me..
Let me stop before I start to plagiarize Linkin Park
This is an effort to be lighthearted that will turn out...like this:
AL-MUJADILA (She that DISPUTETH, The Pleading Woman) (Surah/Chapter 58, 22 Total Verses)
Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah: and Allah (always) hears the arguments between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things).
http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/crcc/engagement/resources/texts/musli...
I want to write more but this will be me, might be me, it is up to Him and where life leads me...I will plead and I believe, wholly, that HE will listen. Yes, I know I am irrational, I love this part of me.
---
This is my writing...on Pepsi, Tylenol or Aleve,
don't really know nor do I want to remember.
Sitting in a pt cruiser 12 hours without a stop,
I am writing this in my blog, Please...remind me,
Never to take a road trip with family,
or in the back seat of this specific devilish car.
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I am me, and me is very un-pretty, not someone’s idealistic dream.
I don’t know what you expect; I have helped the devil in making me
Don’t let go…I am a hopeless mess
I don’t know what you want from me,
Are you asking me to read subliminal signs.
I am telling you he lives inside of me
He breathes and so I live on, I know him,
Don’t know…what he looks like, what is inside of him.
I know I am being led, by the One…He has led many men.
I am waiting, I am going crazy…waiting.
He knows me; he doesn’t know what I want me to be
He is in my dreams…when he comes alive,
I will smile…I’ll say shove it to the world.
I’ll raise my middle finger to the haters who never take any rest.
I want to know the truth.
I will live on; to tell you I can see,
when you tell me, and the world...
...empty words that are lies, so I will become this Me.
I will tell you I am your Truth…I will lead you, you breathe for me.
We will take on the world, not by storm but one step at a time.
When we’ve become stone, forgotten coarse sand,
and ones who want me to be their fragile piece of glass;
You and I might be one; I will make you sick,
and be your cure, all at once.
We will die… we will live on...
...until the end of the whole world’s demise.
I don't get me more than half the time
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
are very confoozled, but i am touched. Love you asmaw.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I hearts you too
I need approval.
I haven't written a blog on this but I know I have issues with being happy with myself, who I am, it's just too hard to write those words down.
It makes them reality, once you accept something....then you move forward to changing it.
I am reaching there, slowly, at a turtle's pace (^_*), but I will get there.
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)
I used to feel a lot of what you express. I don't know exactly what your going through, but you are very young. I can say that as long as you keep searching, you will find what you want.
Impatience is a problem. Looking too far ahead at what we want to be now, but not doing the work now it takes to get there.
No matter what you think or feel, you are you. Whether or not you like you, you are still you. You are not all that elusive to you. You are beautiful, inside and out, all the way around, even upside down.
Trying to *be* you, or trying to find you is not going to get you very far. You just need to sit down right where you are, and just be. Just feel what it feels like to just be you. You have to live with yourself the rest of your life, so you might as well become friends with yourself. Whether you are or are not something you wish you could be, does not matter.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily fa�ade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
"He who awaits much can expect little."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, No One Writes to the Colonel
(me thinks...I will meet GM in another life)