Another topic that is somewhat near and dear to me is being childless.
This is another topic that I have had to come to terms with about myself and choices I have made in my life.
I've never wanted children. I think because I have always worked with children I know what the realities of them are.
Children are forever. There are no refunds or exchanges. Once my father died I kind of had to go through that all over again wishing that I had but that is pretty much over and dealt with. I"m sure he understands now that it was not meant to be.
I've never felt that having children was for me. To a degree I never felt that I had a good childhood and just didn't know if I could do it. I heard from my aunt that many educators do not have children for the same reason I stated. They know what its about and don't want any. My sister also had a child late in life she was about 35 I think and her baby is now 15 months old. She says she's disillusioned with motherhood but I think there's some depression there for her too.
I figure I can help my sister raise her child and any more she might choose to have. From the sounds of it I don't know if she wants anymore. I spent the entire weekend with my little nephew and good grief I WAS TIRED. I asked my sister how she does this 24 hours a day!! Her husband is older than me!!
As far as my mother goes it doesn't really bother her. I'm also not married. I never really saw a need to get married but as I get older the more I want someone to spend my life with. My father was a huge presence and force in my life and I didn't feel like there was room for anyone else. I also had too many issues to deal with.
Because of some health conditions I may not be able to have children now. I had a heart attack (genetics) a year ago and my OB told me it was not wise to get pregnant because it increases your risk. I still have my menstrual cycle so I know I still can with risks. I can't take the pill anymore because it potentially leads to blood clots and when I had my angioplasty they said they found one and treated it.
Well, my mom has had 7 kids and she says that it gets easier after the first four (LOL). She had two and then didn't want anymore. However, when she married my dad (first two kids were from a different marriage), Dad really wanted kids, hence came me. Then she grew spiritually and was a little more open to life. Raising kids is hard...maybe the hardest job a person could have...but its benefits are enormous, as well.
RESPECT LIFE
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"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I was wondering what the benefits are, in your mind, that being a parent gives you? I never wanted kids due to they ARE to much responsibility and very complicated simple beings... Now I have two and I am more able to take care of them then many because I understand their complexity. Or maybe I am crazy and screwing my kids up..Who knows.
Anyway I got side track I just wanted to know what you thoguht.
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T
Well, like I said in my recent "Parental Hypocrisy" post, they force you to better yourself. As someone who believes that my ultimate purpose is to attain Heaven, having those around you for whom you are responsible and need to be a good example for is a huge benefit. Also, despite the many difficulties of raising children, I think that once you're old and stuff, the more kids you have, the more likely it is that you won't get stuck dying all by yourself miserable and alone in a nursing home. Finally, I think that kids can be pains, but they can also be fun. They have all those cute moments that bring joy to your life...then there are the times when they make you proud...first day of school, graduating from high school, graduating from college, different honors along the way, etc...(I'm academically inclined, so I'm thinking more along the lines of school, but each child has a gift (or gifts) that can make you proud). Anyway...so those are some thoughts. :)
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
I don't want any kids either. Never have wanted any; I've being telling everyone that since I was a kid. They'd say "You'll change your mind.." but nope.. 21 years old now, still don't want any. Some people call it selfishness, but like you, I see the reality. Call it a pessimistic outlook, but you can get a handful of parents who may be raising the next pedophile, serial killer, or rapist. Plus, I'm short tempered, I couldn't handle disciplining a child. I had a hard enough time raising my dog.
Anyway..my cousin didnt think she could have kids so she never took the pill or anything (had a period just like you but obviously that's not all that's needed to conceive). She's pregnant now, and not very happy about it.
"Prefiero morir parada que vivir la vida en mis rodillas"
Some people call it selfishness
Some people would call it selfish to insist that instilling values has nothing to do with it, and your kid absolutely has to have matching DNA for it to really be yours. Some people would call it selfish to get pregnant and give birth, adding to a rapidly growing population when there are over 150,000 kids added to the ones looking for foster care and/or to be adopted in the United States each year.
I don't really think that... well, maybe a little teeny tiny bit, and you may not think it either. But it sure is a good way to get people to shut up and apologize when they call you selfish for not wanting kids.
sawaboof=25 and still doesn't want her own kids.
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I feel like the odd man out here. I do want kids... always have, and always will. And before someone goes telling me that I don't understand the complexities of parenthood... I've been a second mother to my two youngest sisters since I was a teenager. Now I'm one of their sole caregivers, and take care of them by myself more than half the week. I have a strong maternal instinct.
I don't begrudge anyone who doesn't want kids, though. It's your choice, and I'd hardly want you to take care of a child that you aren't ready to take care of.
~C
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I do want kids... always have, and always will.
Ditto : ) I love kids...there are a ton of things that I don't like (for example...throw up...if I ever get married and have kids, I'm going to have a REALLY hard time with stomach bugs...), but to me, they feel worth it. If I ever get married, I want like...a dozen kids. :P
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa