As often happens when I get drunk, I became severly critical of everything and everyone around me last night after downing a bunch of cheap wine at a punk show. I became angry at the people I was partying with; they where too fashion-concious, I said, too into music and clothes. Is this what being a punk is all about? I raved.
Lately, I've been saying I'm my own Brutal Honesty Committee; I try to tell it like I see it. But, once I start reflecting on the things that piss me off the most, I realize a lot of what I'm angry about reflects some kind of hypocracy in myself; I myself was there, at the show, enjoying music and fashionable punks, getting drunk instead of doing what I always say my main goal is, which is to help bring down this crumbling empire. I was mostly angry at myself, I am not living the way I want to live, I am not being as purist as I could be; I am not militant, I know the world is burning and dying, ancient forests are quickly disappearing, salmon are almost gone, gorrillas and bears and wolves and lions and elephants are all almost gone, yet I sit here, at a computer, writing about getting drunk and upset. I feel that I know where the problems lie; I know that child abuse and compulsive schooling leads to dumb soliders who can easily be trained to go to Iraq to fight for the necessary oil to keep this monstrosity we call civilization going; yet what do I do to stop this vicious cycle of events?
I was listening to Winter Solider on the radio this morning and I heard horrifying stories of young men and women coming back from Iraq unable to sleep; unable to work, unable to do much but drink themselves into a drunken stupior in order to shut out the pain and depravity they where forced to live through in Iraq. Mothers told stories of daughters who had been repeatably raped by commanding officers while serving; mothers told stories of sons who came back and seemed unable to do much but get drunk and get into fights; mothers talked about children crippled and unable to get help from the VA; which has been apparently regularly shredding claims that are sent in from soliders, because they just get too many claims to fund.
These stories alone are enough to let me know that we need to get rid of this current system we call life; but these of course aren't the only stories; I could tell stories of the woman in rural Oregon who reciently buried her dog up to its' neck in dirt in her backyard and left it there, hoping it would die because she couldn't afford to care for it, I could talk about the ten-yr old boy whose mom reciently called him crazy right in front of him and one of his only friends, I could talk about the child abuse I saw while in elementary school that my elementary school teachers would berate the student who was being abused for, and would tell that student he was lying; I could talk about the fact that I have plastics in my breast tissues (dioxin,) in fat all over my body, that in fact, everyone on earth now does, due to the outragious amounts of pollutants in our environment. I could talk about the fact that both of my sisters have been raped, and that I have been in a siduation which I'm not sure wiether or not it should be considered rape (date rape is such a tricky subject.)
Basically, I'm pissed that even so-called radicals, including myself, do little more then attend punk shows and bitch and whine to each other about how we wish the world would change; sometimes we many stage a demonstration, sometimes we may even break a few windows or do like I did last night and smash a jug of wine in the street, while yelling about smashing dams (little good that did, except I think it made Ian laugh,) and we waste more time getting dressed up for each other then actually changing the world. (I love mohawks that take hours to perfect more then anyone, but what do those hours spent doing your hair do to change the world? You look all cool and militant and all that, but does a fancy hairstyle help anything?) I guess I'm tired of the culture that talks alot of shit, but doesn't walk their talk...I wanna be more of an activist, and less of couch-complainer. I guess that's why I've always loved crusty punks so much; people who put that little work into cleanliness and fashion must be accomplishing something, is my logic.
Anyway, back to the business of changing the world.
Love ya,
Carrot
I think I'm pretty good at brutal honesty. :-)
I think you have an excellent way of cutting to the truth; although we don't always see eye to eye, I have to say Jack, you often give me much to think about and ponder...
Love ya,
Carrot
I'd vote for you.
my documentary...
"some folks say that a hippie won't steal,
but I caught three in my corn field"
--John Hartford
"I know that child abuse and compulsive schooling leads to dumb soliders who can easily be trained to go to Iraq to fight for the necessary oil to keep this monstrosity we call civilization going"
First while I understood the point, I find it interesting how these dumb little Soldiers are doing something that THEY believe in. That THEY are changing the world for the better. These dumb little Soldiers who sacrifice EVERYTHING for people who live in an entirely other country, don't look or dress like them, and may even want to kill them. But I agree with you. There are some of us who back up our stupid convictions with actions, while others hide behind our actions to TALK of their convictions.
I have some stories from the front. What about the Soldiers who built a school so the children could learn, then defended that school with their life so the children could live? What about the Soldiers who have actually seen what true tyranny is, not just read about it in a book that someone else who has never seen it wrote, and then volunteered to return there? I can go on and on.
Here is Brutally Honest. You do not really want change. Because inside you realize that change is violent and bloody. That change equals one thing, death. And you know that for all the blustering that your friends may do, they like the system. They enjoy the fact that they have the freedom to speak out and throw fits about their beliefs without ever having to show the intestinal fortitude to put those beliefs into action. They, like you, need the system to help support them.
Feel free to enjoy your lifestyle, at least us dumb Soldiers will not worry about having convictions attacked, only our reasoning, typically by the ignorant masses that we protect.
I argue with myself constantly about how strong I am, wiether I could actually go through with the change I want, etc. I doubt I actually have a revolutionary inside me....that is kinda what many of my posts have been about these days.
I know there are soliders in Iraq and Afghanistan who are trying to do good things; I admire those who build schools, etc. But otherall, the reports I've gotten back from friends who have been there and friends of friends is that it is a meaningless bloodbath, closely resembling Vietnam...(no offense, I'm glad if you are doing good things there.)
I guess the best things I can do to bring about change are the things I'm already doing; teaching gardening to children, being involved in midwifery college and so forth. If I don't have a revolutionary inside, I can ecourage others to be revolutionary.
Love ya,
Carrot
I am going to seriously question anything I ever hear from a friend of a friend and so should you. Typically because it is crap. My question for you is what, if anything at all, do you know of Vietnam? Of the state of the military back then, the types of Soldiers, the differences between the technology and living standards, etc. How do you or the have any way to compare the two? Do you understand the differences between the two missions, or how those missions were conducted? Have you written to an Iraqi who is sending her child to school for the first time ever? Have you talked to a Soldier who has reenlisted in the military? If it were a bloodbath (which was never true…we have lost fewer Soldiers in this conflict than in any other long term engagement we have ever fought, and if my math is correct, this is the longest we have been engaged in direct ground conflict with an enemy in our nations history (although depending on when you want to view actual ground combat starting and ending in Vietnam changes that)) I highly doubt that we would see record reenlistments within the military.
Also, I would assume that most of the people that you have coming back to you either had romantic ideas of what war is or joined for the wrong reasons. Those of us that have been in past an initial term understand several simple truths in life. One, war is horrible and awful and there is nothing romantic about covering a comrade under your flag. Two, there are things in this world that are simply more important than the individual, and are clearly worth dying for. What is meaningless about getting rid of tyranny? About having children able to learn and sing and play? This is what we are fighting for in Iraq. What is sad, is that many in the American public, safe and snug, free from the terrors of war, can not seem to recognize these facts.
“If I don't have a revolutionary inside, I can ecourage others to be revolutionary.” That is right, if you do not have what it takes to fight your own battles, by all means encourage others to do it for you. Sadly, your view is one shared a staggering number of Americans today.
Websters defines revolution as: “2 a: a sudden, radical, or complete change b: a fundamental change in political organization ; especially : the overthrow or renunciation of one government or ruler and the substitution of another by the governed c: activity or movement designed to effect fundamental changes in the socioeconomic situation”
True revolutions are violent, bloody, and horrific. I think you have no idea what you are really looking for.
“...(no offense, I'm glad if you are doing good things there.)” No offense to you, but I could care less for your opinion about what I am doing because at the end of the day you have no clear understanding of it anyway. I do and will take offense however to ANY sort of insinuation that I am a mindless or “dumb” robot or the same of my brothers and sisters in arms. I will fight for your ability to believe in what you want. I will die for you freedom to speak out against the society that permits your views. I will not sit by however and allow the ignorant to attack me or mine, particularly for the as some political statement.
I'm not sure if I have seen everyone of your posts but I have read quite a few of them.
You are extremely articulate and exhibit remarkable clarity of thought. You are a credit to the military and a credit to all of us.
Dumb would be the wrong word.
Ok, I admit it, that threw me off for a few moments. A compliment was not what I was expecting. Thank you very much.
Dumb may be the wrong to word to describe me. Stubborn, sarcastic, and smart ass however...
but you're already being beat down for it, the essential point has been made and I don't need to beat a dead horse. plus I love your post/s, or most of it what it has to say.
The thing I want to say is I have never thought of as most soldiers who join the army because of education as dumb. They don''t only do that in America, they do it in other countries even more, especially Pakistan. ( i wonder if this was also a point of yours or were you just calling the soldiers, dumb?) It is not the soldiers that are dumb, call the system dumb.
ps if you wish, please do read a blog I wrote last year before I went on my hiatus http://www.progressiveu.org/103945-he-wants-to-join-army
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can." - Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude Fudge"It's the hard-knock life..."
I think Americans overall are getting a shitty education, are not taught to think objectively, etc, which doesn't mean we are all dumb, but it certainly doesn't help matters...
Many of the people I talk with who are returning from Iraq didn't have any idea what they where signing up for...many are former high school classmates who had a romantic view of traveling the world and getting money for college; they didn't really think they'd actually be fighting for anything when they joined.
I guess that kinda makes me sad/mad; seeing people who where seventeen and eighteen all excited about getting to "travel and go to college," now coming back mentally and physically wounded. This is the brutal reality of war. Somehow, the people I know who are coming back really didn't understand this; sure, they'd seen war movies on tv, but that was the closest they'd come to war/death/violence. Many had never even fired a gun before or killed anything in their lives...they where extremely naive. I guess that is what I'm reacting to. Makes me angry to see this happening to my generation.
All of the Vietnam vets except one I've met in my life have been homeless alcoholics...I guess when you get your view of that war from homeless drunks, you only get one perspective on the whole thing. Most of the homeless drunks I've met have been vets, by the way.
Love ya,
'Carrot
When I first read the title of this blog, I thought about my clients, the homeless addicts I work with 6 days a week. They are EXTREMELY dishonest with themselves, and it is a rarity to find a direct person around here. I try to be one of those people, to play the bullshit card and point out inconsistencies.
I wonder if I should call it the brutal honesty committee?
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
H.D.Thoreau http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sahara